BALLS TO THE WALL FISHING

The only place to stay current on the latest manic ramblings from the Florida Panhandle.

CHEEKY FLY REELS, THE OFFICIAL REEL OF BALLS TO THE WALL FISHING

Friday, October 29, 2010

MADISON WISCONSIN GETS THE NOD 2012/2013 CYCLOCROSS NATIONALS, IN JANUARY

Madison in January? How the hell can you compete against a Green Bay Packer game in January.
CX MAG with the story.
This is the official skinsuit for the madness in Wisconsin.

COLORADO'S BIGGEST WEEKEND OF CYCLOCROSS IS UPON US

All the big heavies decend upon Boulder, Colorado this weekend for the most anticipated weekend of CX of the year. Tomorrow brings the Colorado Cross Classic to the Boulder Res, two words, goatheads and sand.
Sunday is a new and what promises to be a painful venue at Flatirons Crossing. Bring your A beer drinking game and cowbell. Here we go.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

SNOW

It's been absolutely dumping in the Colorado High Country now for three straight days. Below is the top of Blue Sky Basin at Vail, where 2-3 feet of snow has already fallen and it's still coming down...
This is Arapahoe Basin this morning at the top of their new chairlift at mid-mountain. Mountain Biking season can't be over already can it? Fuck, I may have to go do something REALLY stupid tomorrow, ski.

And this is the top of Vail Pass as I type, INSANITY for the end of October, we are counting in FEET not inches at this point up high in the hills.

Monday, October 25, 2010

I SUCK, YOU DON'T......

Courtney Wuwuwuwuwuwuzup Gregory screams encouragement
photo karen Jarchow
Let's start by saying this was a fun weekend, however, with that said, it was also incredibly frustrating for me as I continue to realize that I'm just getting older, and the gas just aint there when I want it. Flat tires both days this weekend left me wanting to give up, but I did not, that is never fair to anyone. The guys who kick your ass on those days deserve to have you finish no matter what so they can say "I beat that douche bag Grossman good this weekend, twice". On top of all that, after Saturday's race at Xilinx, which was a blast, I felt like I had been in a gall damn fist fight with my bike as more than once I had cleats stick in pedals while dismounting and had the bike beat my ass, a debacle or dare I say a GOAT FUCK? Sunday I plain and simply got run right over by the field. If you want to experience the Running of the Bulls, I dare you to line it up in the 35+ Cat 4's on any given weekend racing Cyclocross and give it a go. The starts are down right frightening some days, and it's a miracle that I stayed up on Sunday as we charged for the hole shot. I missed it by about 40 spots on Sunday, and proceeded to die a slow death in the Bowl of Death before finally having the sword stuffed in my gut with another flat tire, this time a rear, which took forever to get changed, and then that same rear wheel pulled out of the drops on the ensuing climb nearly forcing me over the bars. During this "Monkey Fucking a Football" episode, I was mercifully lapped for the first time in a 35+ Cat 4 race and finished one lap down, but I finished. With this said, I encourage all of you to keep up the good fight as long as you can, and for as many years as possible...it's a great game, sometimes the roll of the dice comes up snake eyes. Someone must finish 57th or 74th everytime 100 plus racers line up, this week, I was the guy.

With that said, to completely change the subject, I encourage all you moderate Democrats out there to stay home and not vote this time, or better yet, go vote for your local Tea Bag candidates and let the Tea Bag party have the day, let them have this super sized pile of shit to run deeper into the ground, it's all yours boyz, and it aint gettin better in the next 2, 4 or 6 years, unless of course you promise everyone a Tea Bag. On second thought, I've got this looney Tea Bagger neighbor who likes to threaten the cool kids in our hood whenever she gets the chance, let's just say she aint exactly a looker, and I would not wish her on my worst enemy Tea Bagging, she might bite the bastard off.

This is how you Tea Bag

Sunday, October 24, 2010

JAKE WELLS SWEEPS, BOWL OF DEATH HIGHLIGHTS

Sweet Vij highlights from todays "Bowl of Death" race in Louisville, Colorado. I had to leave early, but Brian Patrick caught some great action. Looks like the Boulder Cyclesport plan was to send Krughoff early, wear down Jake Wells, then have Brandon Dwight throw punch number two...however, Wells marked all of it and escaped for the win, and Baker, Jake's Hudz Subaru teammate, played Dwight and Krughoff like a fiddle to take second...Jake Wells 2-0 this weekend....with big time races on the horizon next weekend in Boulder.

And vij from the Blue Sky Cup race, Jake Wells comes from way back mid race for the win.

And then there is this, you watch this vij and realize why the Northwest gets 200 beginner racers to show up to their CX events, that's right, 200 beginnner women, because it's fun and not full of tudes and agroness, and untouchables.

This is the qualifier for the SSCXWC yesterday, how freekin killer does this look? Try doing this shit on the front range and you will have half the commssionsers, trustees, law enforcement types and anal retentive lefties and righties saying NOT IN MY BACKYARD.....please fill out these 726 forms, sign these 3057 waivers, go to these 47 meetings and we will think about it, if you are lucky.

Friday, October 22, 2010

I'VE OFTEN HEARD THE TERM....

But have never actually seen a picture of it......now I have a clearer picture of what an actual "Goat Fuck" looks like.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

THE GLORY DAYS, WHEN MEN WORE NO CHAMOIS...

People used to actually go and WATCH Mountain bike races....

And you youngsters that have nothin but 6-8 inch travel bikes, you won't believe this shit....but it really happened. This should be taught in every history class.

THERE ARE SO MANY COOL DOGS IN THIS WORLD....WITH COOL OWNERS.

While scanning some of the blogs I like to follow, Stevil's All Hail the Black Market had this vij posted. It's been around for a while, and it's the most intense six minute plus video you will ever watch, and if you do not shed tears, you are a heartless piece of crap. I recommend you watch this solo, you will be touched, and then go feed your cool fucking dog a steak for dinner tonight...damn this can teach us all something very deep in such a small portion of your day. Watch it, all of you, and love somebody or something.....this is beautiful.

Last Minutes with ODEN from phos pictures on Vimeo.

"NO CHOICE" CYCLING...

Most of you out there in the grand world of one geared cycling like to refer to this form of torture as "Singlespeed". I on the other hand have a new moniker and would like to rename this "form" as "no choice" cycling. As I rode last night on this new build of mine, the "no choicer", I was struck by these two mantras going through my head during the entire ride.
1. This is how fast you are going to go no matter how much you like or dislike it.
2. This is how much it is going to hurt no matter how much you like or dislike it.
I had no choice, that is why this is now called the "no choice" class of riding. I like it better than "singlespeed". The term "singlespeed" is so old and tired, and it conjours up a specific image. I am going to re-invent the image as the first known "no choicer".
I actually know Chuck Norris to be a "No Choicer" by birth rite.
This is how I built it up yesterday, with my Travis Brown Big Guy No Choicer Starter Kit.
First and foremost is a good application of Squirt Long Lasting Dry Lube and a chainstay sticker that let's everyone know that I am a "champion" no choicer.
(Note)-be sure to drip Squirt Lube on your carpet if you are a bachelor, it'll give the place some "no choicer" character.

Next up of course are the most comfortable grips on the planet, very important for an old curmudgeon no choicer like myself, got to keep those hands and wrists cozy all ride long. Ergon GX1's are the no choicer's choice. Ritchey WCS Aluminum Bars are the choice of the no choicer, my massive upper body strength as CB says might snap carbon bars like Chuck Norris slicing the earth in half with a fart. Easton EC90 stem someone gave me at the Breck Epic and Elixir Disco brakes along with a Crankbro's headset are other choices of the no choicer.
SC 32 Singlecrown Fork from Maverick, now dirty after ride one is also a no choicer choice. Velocity front wheel and Kenda small blocks, which I hate are also no choicer choices, you take what you get for free however, I had no choice.
I was kind of pissed about Charlie's gear "choice" for me on the new build, because we did indeed have a choice as to what gear to put on the "no choicer". But half way up the first climb I actually was pretty pleased with the choice until my crank arm fell off (yeah, I put the bitch on), then it actually did'nt matter what fucking gear I had on the No Choicer, but that's a story for another day. I'll put it this way, I was pretty damn pleased that I had the insight to bring a multi tool (which I never do) with me and a well charged battery for the night ride.

And now I'm qualified for this
mayhem, "no choicers" only.

I also plan on calling the 29er a 58er in the future, as there are two 29 inch wheels on these bikes which totals 58. Hence, my new build is actually a "58er No Choicer"

Monday, October 18, 2010

Cyclocross World Cup Aigle 2010 - Final 2 laps

FACES OF DEATH, THE PAIN CRYPT CALLED CYCLOCROSS

photo Jen Sewall"Dying a thousand deaths", If you line it up to race Cyclocross on any given weekend, you will experience this. I'm not sure why this happens, or why we all choose to do this to ourselves, but the above photo from Jen Sewall at last weekend's Cross on the River race in Buena Vista captures this perfectly, for you just can not remember exactly HOW MUCH it hurt until you are reminded by a photo of yourself looking like this. It's not flattering, and I'm not proud of just how much I'm suffering in this photo like we all do near the end of these races, but I'm glad I get to do it, and I'm glad so many of my good friends bury themselves the same way. And I'm glad I get to yell at every other racer out there and encourage them to keep rolling, because between death 954 and 955 in these races it's hard, it's very hard, and one cowbell or one call out keeps you going, and then you have one less lap to go. Cyclocross is simply the purest form of suffering on earth while competing, bar none, and there is no difference if you are racing at the front of the race, the middle, or the back, you are buried deep in the Crypt of Pain, and loving it. It's an honor to line it up any weekend and face the Gods of the Barriers, Sand, Grass, Asphalt, Goatheads, Mud, Water, Course Tape, Rocks and Dirt, Flying Elbows and Crashing Racers. I had a couple of fantastic rides this weekend here at home in Eagle, on the mountain and on the road, but my soul burned to be on the Cross Bike on the front range, battling for 30th something place. It's pure, it's hard and it's so in your face. I want more.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

IT'S COMPTON IN THE WORLD CUP OPENER IN SWIZZZERLAND

Graham Watson photo
Squirt Luber, Katie Compton destroyed the women's field at the World Cup Opener in Switzerland this weekend. Katie is looking mighty lean and clearly rolling FAST right now, fastest in the world this weekend as she once again has earned the top notch in the World Cup standings. Roll Katie Roll.

And notice those D2 shoes Katie is wearing? Made right here in Eagle, Colorado, just a stone's throw away from the home of A2B.

THE MAKING OF FRANK-N-BIKE...IT'S ALIVE

Parts is parts they say, and the parts are all here, so it's time to get the party started. This ladies and gentleman is the making of a bike porn movie. The stars have aligned from all over the land, and the sources of this pile have been many. We got fork, Maverick Single Crown 29er fork, we got wheel, Velocity Blount with Maverick hub, we got Grips From Ergon compliments of Jeff Kerkove, we got bars and stems and brakes all from deep in my storage shed, and we have electricity, which is the final part of this puzzle we all call Frank-N Bike. A SS for the ages, on Kenda small blocks which have a black widow nest in them, also from the back row of the storage shed, we got Fred Reynolds old XT crank (for which I will gladly pay you one case of Corona on Tuesday, for a crank today), we got one large pile of shit that is about to become for lesser of a better word, a raging monster. I'm thinking it probably will look something like this at build out...Or this..........think of the beer...

Friday, October 15, 2010

GETTING THINGS BACK IN PERSPECTIVE...

Once again I find myself in need of a reality check and keeping it all where it should be. Being a bit of a moron at times I was actually considering driving to Estes Park to race CX this weekend, with the probability of a second row call up and all that. Drive 3.5 hours, race for 45 minutes, then drive back 3.5 hours and go right to work. Then I got on the Mountain Bike yesterday and it is simply outstandingly perfect right here, in my backyard, where I can ride 3 minutes to the dirt, and have this entire mecca to myself where I once again did not see ONE other person riding yesterday, and I said to myself why in the hell would anyone in their correctly sane mind make that trip when they could do THIS? So I'm doing THIS, as long as mother nature let's me, and I do not have to suffer, and I do not have to beat myself up for not finishing 27th instead of 28th, and the weather is sickly perfect. Enjoy the Cyclocross action this weekend all you warriors, I'll miss it, kind of. And boy am I gonna miss out on that post race Anus Wrap after the race when I'm really hungry from the effort.
Keep it simple, always









Thursday, October 14, 2010

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

FROM THE INTERNATIONAL ANTI-DOPING CONFERENCE IN AUSTRALIA, WATCH IT, LISTEN TO IT AND ALL OF THE ASSOCIATED VIDEOS FROM THE CONFERENCE, AND LEARN.


I expect the rants to soon follow, but listen to ALL of the conference, and LEARN something, and realize that it's pretty damn pleasing for a slouch like me to finish 37th or 19th in a 35+ Cat 4 race, and be glad I was just able to compete, Fuck winning, nobody gives a crap. You line up, you go ride for fun, you finish or simply try to finish a bike ride, whatever your reason for geting ona bike and Bingo. you WIN. Go build a trail would ya?

Seriously, In encourage you all to listen to all of the videos linked to the one above from the conference and at least gain an understanding of what is actually going on in the pro peleton. It does not appear to be a witch hunt, but instead a fascinating and relaible means to catch the cheats, interesting indeed....

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

WHILE IT WAS SNOWING 10 INCHES AT WINTER PARK TODAY....

It was an amazing fall day in Eagle, and it was a damn good day on the river, despite falling in.
Right in our backyard, park at the bike shop, go fish....

YODER CAM FROM CROSS AT THE RIVER

I would never expect anyone to even begin to understand why we do this to ourselves on weekends, but that is only because you have never experienced the pain we call Cyclocross. This vij from Rod Yoder in last weekends 35+ race should give you a pretty good idea of what the pain cave actually looks like...cheers.

2010 CX at the River 35+ from Rod Yoder on Vimeo.

Monday, October 11, 2010

CX MAG FEATURES J DUBS...

Yeah, Yeah, I know, it's the Jake Wells show again here on A2B, and I'm off the back reporting on this one due to a crazy work schedge lately, but it's kind of the J Dub show all over right now. Check out the latest issue of CX Magazine with the full color 5 page article, "Meet Jake, the other Wells", no big deal right? And on top of all the hype, J Dobber goes to UCI3 this past weekend in Cincy and throws down three top tens in three days against the best in the biz, get on it dawg.
If you aint one of Jake's fans or friends before you read the article, you will be after...pretty damn inspiring if you ask me, I know he's got me fired up to throw down whatever I got every chance I get this year.....

Sunday, October 10, 2010

THE PUREST FORM OF SUFFERING ON EARTH...CROSS AT THE RIVER.

The chase group in the open race, Dwight, Clark and Webber Courtney Gregory did not win today, but his girlfriend did.. Matt Shriver, Fort Lewis College cycling coach, takes the men's open race
Tim Allen and JJ Clark were in the chase group for much of the race...
This mess could only be the Freak's.... The wind was stiff, and kept everyone under wraps trying to keep the chill out
There is a new rivalry brewing, bastard. Now I got another bro I gotta run scared from every weekend.
Collegiate Peaks this morning, what a backdrop for a CX race
Someone broke some shit, I'll give you one guess who...
Tim Allen Bunny Hopping tall barriers...

Saturday, October 9, 2010

I WOULD NOT ORDINARILY DO THIS BUT......

In honor of my best college friend who tragically passed away this past year, Dave Rowe, I will post this short thank you to the Florida State football team that took the Miami Hurricanes to the woodshed tonight, pulled their pants down, and wooped the living shit out of their asses. Dave would have been in all his glory this eve as he was a fanatical "Nole". The part of this post none of you will understand is that Dave and myself got thrown in the Leon County Jail together at a FSU-Miami game in 1979, so this game has always held a warm place in my heart even though I truly do not follow these things as closely as I once did. To make a very long story short, we both were charged with disorderly conduct and Dave got the wrap for obstructing an officer while in the line of duty, I had my charges dropped when the local Tallahasse police had found out the truth, that I smacked a Cane fan upside his head in self defense, Dave was not as fortunate and had to do a long weekend in the pokie...which he never forgave me for. All the same, the actual entire story is a classic, and it's good to get a little back when FSU KICKS THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF THOSE SCHMUCKS.
Dave Rowe is smiling somewhere up in the cheap seats tonight...