BALLS TO THE WALL FISHING

The only place to stay current on the latest manic ramblings from the Florida Panhandle.

CHEEKY FLY REELS, THE OFFICIAL REEL OF BALLS TO THE WALL FISHING

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

AND THE GOLD MEDAL GOES TO....

This bowl of plums was full yesterday. I shared a few, but have been eating these things like peanuts for the past week because I can't stop. And there are 1000's more where these came from, and I will continue to eat them. To say I could shit through a metal screen and not touch any metal right now is an understatement. Now I know what all the hoopla was about grandpa. Anyway, I have found eating this many moist prunes is a very high chamois risk while riding the bike, do not even attempt to push out a fart, just let them happen if you are riding, because if you push, you will surely bacon strip the hell out of your cycling shorts, which I did today, and I won gold, and in all my glory post ride I sat on the toilet and listened to this song in my head proudly. Whatever I can do to keep the metal count close to China for the USA I will do, especially if its gold.

I LOVE GETTIN MY REDNECK ON...

 This past Saturday evening was not what I would call a bucket list item, but I had never been to see any real car racing before in my lifetime. Not that I ever thought I needed to, but when I was cornered for a date to go see a good ol read deal NASCAR race which featured two time Daytona 500 winner Michael Waltrip at Colorado Speedway I was stoked. The NAPA Toyota 150 was what I heard NASCAR was all about and more. Four races took place during the evening, including the heavily anticipated "figure 8" racw which is basically like riding your road bike in the middle of I-70 at the I-70 & I-25 interchange in Denver, it was fucking crazy. Ya gotta go if you get the chance, it will ground you, because it's just plain and simply a good time, American style. The concessions are cheap and it will bring you back to a better place for a few hours, it's good people having a good time. On top of all of the engine revs, NASCAR raised almost $74,000 here for the fire victims in our state, and if you don't like that, you don't like nothin. 

Having some goofy fun for sure....
 

Monday, July 30, 2012

MORE VOS

If you follow the elite level of women's cycling on the road and/or cyclocross, you know the name, and she's done it again, because that is what she does. The grande group ride was finally splintered with about 45K to go, and Marainne Vos added Olympic Gold to her already over stuffed trophy case. Not a lot of team tactics in this one folks, just the strongest of the rest riding away and deciding it late at the line.... 
image Graham Watson/Velo News
Isn't this an "odd" looking photo?

Sunday, July 29, 2012

BAD ASS

BAD ASS, VERY BAD ASS. I WANT A MICHAEL WALTRIP MODEL CAR.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

GET ALL THE SECRETS TO MOVE UP IN THE PACK THIS SEASON, AND I'LL TALK ABOUT IT...

If you are looking for that advantage to move up a couple of spots this year in the CX scene, or even to the next Cat, you'll want to check this out. I can't imagine a more fun guy to go through a clinic with that Tim Johnson, he's a funny and super talented guy.
I'll be having my cyclocross mini-camp in the near future which will include expert bunny hopping (see the video from Xilinx last year as I ate shit on a four inch log), and how to hope you are re-incarnated with a much larger VO2 max before retiring and just becoming a race announcer. It's free and includes a bucket of beer.

HE WHO HIDES BEST, WINS GOLD

In his normal fashion, Vino snuck up on the rest of the world and took GOLD in London today. The USA team rode a very tactically smart race, but missed out on the final move of the race and narrowly missed the podium.
IMAGE FROM CYCLINGNEWS

FRUITS AND VEGGIES

With the raspberries all played out for this season, the rest of place is lit up with jillions of plums, apples and the blackberries and tomatoes all on the verge of rocking the house. And of course their in NASCAR in Denver tonight. Shit howdy.




Wednesday, July 25, 2012

HERE'S A REALLY CRAPPY VIDEO OF MCKENZIE GULCH SINGLETRACK

So here's a really shitty vij of the McKenzie Gulch singletrack filmed on the hardtail with a loose camera mount. This video pretty much sucks, enjoy it.
But here is a good video that makes up for the shitty video... video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

USA READY TO STIR SOME DIRT AT THE OLYMPICS

August 11th and 12th is throw down time
Shultz, Gould, Davison and Wells will show and throw for the USA.

And the kits are dope this year!

Monday, July 23, 2012

WUZ UP HOLMES?

This is the motherfucker that has earned A2B DOUCHE BAG OF THE YEAR HONORS until the day they sit his ass down in the electric chair, inject him, fire squad his sorry ass, cut his balls off first of course and pull all the switches. 

James Holmes is certainly going to rot in the lowest levels of hell. Fucking Douche.
I have been tortured the last few days of how to respond to this lunatic's actions, and just find a way to be civil. This guy has got to leave the face of this great planet full of a lot of great people. To the Aurora first responders, police, emergency medical services, and especially the female dispatcher who handled this situation, I listened to the radio transmissions of the events today, with a broken heart, and you were all amazing, there is nothing else to say. Your quick and calm response saved many lives. The people of Aurora should be honored to have you watching their back. Fantastic.

THE ULTIMATE IN SPOTSMANSHIP

Ya know, with all the shit going on around here these days I find this a bit of a funny reaction to losing a mountain bike race. Granted it was for a National Belgian title and a trip to the Olympics, but man up douche.
What I find even more compelling is that I have actually witnessed a couple of tantrums like this right here in Colorado over the years....going for a pair of socks. Paleeease. By the way, these are the personalities that I feel are most likely the dopers, but that is just MY opinion....

Sunday, July 22, 2012

IT WAS ALL 2 TIME OLYMPIAN AND HALL OF FAMER TINKER JUAREZ AT THE 12 HOURS OF SNOWMASS...

Tinker Juarez took the entire solo field at the 12 Hours of Snowmass yesterday behind the woodshed and absolutely spanked their asses raw. Eric Bastrom, Specialized Sho-air rider finished a distant second and Kalan Beisel somehow managed to drag himself around the final two laps completely lambasted to finish third, making the lap cutoff by only 20 seconds on his final circuit. It was a really fun day in Snowmass at a great event put on by another Hall of Famer, Nat Ross. Tinker explained in the post race interview he was a bit tired from travel the previous day and altitude, and that once he got the downhill lined dialed he was able to ramp it up and start riding faster lap times while everyone else fell deeper into the hurt locker...Well done Tinker and an honor to call a race that you dominated. The event was part of the Pro Ultra Endurance Tour and this victory gave Tinker the overall win in the series...
 Sari Anderson DOMINATED the women's field, winning by two laps.

Friday, July 20, 2012

A2B SENDS OUT NOTHING BUT THE BEST THOUGHTS TO THE VICTIMS AND THEIR FAMILIES

 Such a waste and so senseless.....

And don not waste tax dollars keeping this fucking loser behind bars and alive, put him in a straight jacket and let the loved ones of the deceased and injured play pinata with this MFER.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

NOT ALL THE IDOTS ARE GUYS, BUT WE ALREADY KNEW THAT




Here we see a smug Bradley Wiggins as he thinks to himself, ah you stupid bloke, if were you not being paid to kiss my ass like Lemond did for Hinault all those years, you could have won you first Tour Mr. Froome. Tea and crumpets anyone?
 

MOUNTAIN PEDALER SHOP RIDE, BACK IN THE SADDLE, MOST OF US.

Yours truly trying not to puke at the top of the hike-a-bike
And on catwalk right after I got hit in the fucking head by an owl. no shit.
 Look, I'm not going to get into all the details from last night's shop ride, but there were many, you will all see that eventually. It had been quite a while since I got to ride with a good portion of the old posse, rip a little singletrack, do a little "work", and watch Fred Reynolds over cook a turn and once again eat shit and rip his ass open. Some kids never learn, and that is a good thing.

Fred topping out at Mike's Night Out hike-a-bike
 The hike we all love....I think we should rename this portion and call it "fuck you"
And this is what it looks like when you try and wipe your ass with sagebrush at 30 miles per hour...

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

OH YEAH, NOW I REMEMBER...


 It's been a ,very long time, so long I can not remember when the mountain biking in and around Eagle was this good. We have gotten a more than welcome severe dousing of rain over the last couple of weeks, and yesterday eve was the topper with a flash flood type storm that came right over our single track covered Hardscrabble Mountain. The storm scoured all of the trails right down to the hard stuff, and sent all of that bullshit Gypsum moon dust right down the Eagle River towards California. There was not one fresh track up there today when I rode, anywhere, not a cow track, not a dirt bike track, not a jeep track, just one mountain bike track, and I remembered just how sweet it is here, and the riding was fast and effortless. Two big downed trees on Mike's Night Out are no longer there and it is simply perfect.
 The "Witches Tit" on the way to Mike's Night Out
 And the backside of the Tit

 Even the hike a bike at Mike's was easy walking...
 The start of Mike's veer right...
 Even ran into some Blue Grouse along the way
 And of course the descent of World's Greatest on the way over to the Boneyard.  ALL trails were damp and tacky, go ride out there RIGHT NOW.

And so in closing on this perfectly tranquil day, I just found out I'm going to this on the 28th. should make for interesting blogging. I'm shining up my cowboy boots as I type....think I'll go pick up some Skoal Bandits as well....what the fuck is this announcer saying anyway? I'm gonna jump right in this with the Subie and it's new engine dawg.

WHEELER PASS, BRECKENRIDGE

With the Breck 100 in the books, next up for this mecca of mtbing in the week long monster called the Breck Epic, raced primarily above 10,000 feet for a week. Wheeler Pass is also a part of this sufferfest....

BRECK 100 BATTERS MANY, IS CONQUERED BY SOME

 Riders above ascend the famed Wheeler Pass section of the Breck 100 Ultra Endurance Mountain Bike race. With near 13,000 feet of climbing during the 100 mile jaunt, a bit of rain sleet and snow mixed in, it is what many call mountain bikings toughest one day test. Below the Honey Stinger Team celebrates winning the team comp which they torched in just over 8 hours. Michael Weiss, who is serving a two year ban in UCI sanctioned events for blood doping, won this event going away over six time champion Josh Tostado. Amanda Carey topped Yari Kirkland on the women's side...

Friday, July 13, 2012

USA OLYMPIC UNIFORMS MADE IN CHINA...

 Imagine That...
And boy oh boy is Georgia Gould going to have a hard time keeping the chainring marks off of those white pant legs. However, I truly enjoyed the comment from Milke Mac that said this kit makes all of our Olympic athletes look like Judge Smails, he's correct in that assumption...and that shit is funny.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

STUPID FUN NEW DIRT ON VAIL MOINTAIN, RADIO FLYER

There is brand new dirt on Vail Mountain to ride, it's called Radio Flyer, and it's SIIIIICK. Sorry I could not hang longer with my video subject Nate Picklo, he throttled me on my hard tail. If anyone has an extra bag of money laying around I can use, I'd like to buy a full squish bike with it, instead of a car engine. Thank you.

REEVES AND WELLS WIN AT THE GRIND....

Image Vail Daily
It was Gretchen Reeves (Tokyo Joes) fresh off of her Firecracker 50 win and Jake Wells (Dogma Athletica) taking the wins last night at the Vail Grind MTB race on Vail mountain.

THE RIDING IS THIS GOOD IN EAGLE RIGHT NOW, CATWALK

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

2012 USA CYCLING PRO CHALLENGE TEAMS ANNOUNCED


 Everyone's favorite, Jens Voigt, comes back to the USA to compete next month. This is the only man in the world who can kick the living crap out of Chuck Norris. when he gets on the bike the earth spins under him, he does not actually have to pedal.
UCI ProTeams
Astana Pro Team (KAZ)
BMC Racing Team (USA)
Garmin-Sharp-Barracuda (USA)
Liquigas-Cannondale (ITA)
Omega Pharma-QuickStep (BEL)
RadioShack-Nissan-Trek (LUX)

UCI Professional Continental Teams
Champion System Pro Cycling Team (CHN)
RusVelo (RUS)
Team SpiderTech powered by C10 (CAN)
Team Type 1-SANOFI (USA)
UnitedHealthcare Pro Cycling Team (USA)


UCI Continental Teams
Bissell Pro Cycling (USA)
Bontrager Livestrong Team (USA)
EPM-UNE (COL)
Optum Pro Cycling p/b Kelly Benefit Strategies (USA)
Team Exergy (USA)

COWS

And the damage they do on trails after big rain...

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

WESTY IN CONTROL AT THE PRO START OF THE 2012 FIRECRACKER 50

I love this guy....he runs this monster event like butta!

GREAT MOMENT FROM THE 2012 FIRECRACKER 50

And I've got a lot more vij coverage, give me a few days to process it all, it's been a busy couple of weeks here at A2B, by the way, I saw the absolute worst bleached hair job I've ever seen in Eagle last week...please.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Friday, July 6, 2012

NEW MEXICO RAIN....BAM.

An amazing opportunity presented itself this weekend to celebrate our country's birthday with a trip down to the Willington NRA Center in Raton, New Mexico. If you enjoy shooting off fireworks in the form of bullets and shotgun shells, this is basically the Super Bowl of Disney Land for anyone who decides to make the trip south on Interstate 25 to Raton. It's got it ALL. Every discipline of shooting can be found here and the place is immaculately laid out and fun. Day one the monster mega rain storm rolled through cooling it off and drenching the landscape.
These chicken sized targets from 220 yds are really quite small, but with a full blown sniper rifle we had zero misses.
This view is actually out to the silhouettes and the long distance range, believe it or not, with the proper tool, we did not miss a target until 540 yards out, and at the back of this image, on that semi bare spot in the trees, there is a buffalo target at 1150 yards.....ping!
The view back after setting up targets on the long distance range from 500+ yards out...ping!

And an old coal mine shaft in the now defunct ghost town of Vanhouten, New Mexico

Thursday, July 5, 2012

TOKYO JOE'S SUPER BOWL AT FIRECRACKER 50

It was all Tokyo Joe's on the top spot of the pro podiums at the 2012 Firecracker 50 with Gretchen Reeves and Jay Henry regaining champion status in Breckenridge on the 4th of July. On a course that was four miles shorter that last years course, but met with raves from the racers, everyone took huge chunks of time off of their previous best race times in Breck. There was some great racing as always with new really killer and more forgiving sections of single track added to the mix. The course was right at 50 miles this year, and there were some very impressive rides from some amazingly talented riders. Masters categories were heavily contested with smokin times from Craig Hofer, Brandon Dwight, Paul Gorbold, Brad Ghent, Jerry Oliver and so many others knocked it out...perfect conditions to race on a perfect day. See you in 2013, same place, same time. Congrats to all of you who lined it up yesterday.