BALLS TO THE WALL FISHING

The only place to stay current on the latest manic ramblings from the Florida Panhandle.

CHEEKY FLY REELS, THE OFFICIAL REEL OF BALLS TO THE WALL FISHING

Thursday, January 31, 2008

CULT CROSS ON THE BEACH?


ALL THIS FREEZING ASS, SHRINKAGE, BULLSHIT, I'M OVER IT COLD WEATHER HAS ME THINKING MAYBE WE SHOULD ADD A BEACH RACE TO THE CULT CROSS SERIES....WHADA YA THINK HOMIES?

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

ADDICTED TO BICYCLES AUTOPSY TEAM REVEALS TRUE CAUSE OF DEATH OF HEATH LEDGER

IT APPEARS THE REAL CAUSE OF DEATH FOR ACTOR HEATH LEDGER WAS AN ENLARGED SPHINCTER WHICH MAY HAVE DEVELOPED DURING THE FILMING OF "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN". HEATH WAS UNABLE TO KEEP FOOD IN HIS SYSTEM BECAUSE OF THIS PROBLEM AND MAY HAVE PASSED OUT SIMPLY FROM BEING SO DAMN HUNGRY....WE BELIEVE THE TENT SCENE MAY HAVE DONE HIM IN...SO MUCH FOR GOIN FISHIN.

THIS POST IS PURELY FICTIONAL AND A SICK ATTEPMT TO HUMOR THOSE OF YOU TWISTED ENOUGH TO FOLLOW THIS BLOG SITE.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

DO NOT PISS OFF THE TEAM CAR DRIVER..

I HATE WHEN I FORGET WHERE I PUT THE GOD DAMN HIDE-A-KEY
And if you think this guy was having a bad day, check out Ray Charles. I think he played the entire show like this...

Monday, January 28, 2008

CANT BELIEVE YOU DID NOT DRIVE THROUGH THIS TO MAKE MY SPIN CLASS...

THIS WAS AN AMAZING DRIVE HOME....

SOUTH CAROLINA SAYS....

GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER?
AND IT AINT HILLARY

BOOM BOOM, OUT GO THE LIGHTS

DUTCHMAN LARS BOOM WINS CROSS WORLDS...DEFEATS SVEN NYS THE BELGIAN NATIONAL CHAMPION
AMERICANS PAGE, JOHNSON AND POWERS ALL FINISH TOP 30
IS THIS PERHAPS A CHANGING OF THE GUARD IN THE CROSS WORLD? BOOM IS ONLY 23...AN IMPRESSIVE WIN TO SAY THE LEAST. I'M GONNA
CALL HIM AND SEE IF HE IS INTO RACING CULT CROSS NEXT MONTH.


Sunday, January 27, 2008

LIFE IS GOOD, FROM BLUEBIRD POWDER SKIING TO AWESOME CLASSIC NORDIC SKIING AT THE EAGLE RANCH GOLF COURSE

BLUE BIRD AT BLUE SKY AND POW POW

Mt. of the Holy Cross view

FINALLY! A Bluebird day at Vail with some outstanding ski conditions. After what was just a crazy work week the valley was blessed with another shit pile of snow and blue skies on Saturday. There is nothing better than gobs of new snow when you get old and sore...keeps your legs young and the impact low, a perfect combo, not to mention the company, which could not have been better. KB you ripped.


THEN A SUNDAY NORDIC EFFORT AT EAGLE RANCH GOLF COURSE


I'm not quite sure I understand the mentality of the Eagle Ranch crowd when it comes to Nordic Skiing. If that golf course were somewhere in the upper midwest and they had snow cover like we have this year on the Eagle Ranch Golf course, they would almost be on the verge of delerium and orgification with the opportunity to NORDIC SKI all winter. The Classic skiing on Eagle Ranch Golf course has been OUTSTANDING this winter, but nary an Eagle Ranch owner pays an inkling of attention to it, which for me is great, as I'd rather be out there skiing the great snow than deciding which stainless appliances and tile I HAD to have which would be replacing the old stainless appliances and tile which were the shit two years ago...hmmmm, maybe I'm the village idiot?
And then home for the killa home made za...the key is to prep all this crap BEFORE you go nordic ski...then you just pop the bastard in the oven and stuff yourself while being couch man. Life continues to be good. This is indeed the Colorado Dream.
and after...so f'n good.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

CULT CROSS UPDATE

THE APRRIL 5TH DATE AND VENUE HAVE BEEN CHANGED. THIS RACE HAS BEEN MOVED TO THE EAGLE FAIRGROUNDS AND WILL NOW BE ON MARCH 29TH, A SATURDAY.
THE AVON REC DISTRICT JUST HAD TOO MANY HOOPS TO JUMP THROUGH..

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

DOGMA CYCLOCROSS WORKOUT WITH LARRY G REVEALED


AS SOME OF YOU KNOW, I WILL BE TEACHING A CULT CROSS SPECIFIC SPIN CLASS AT DOGMA ATHLETICA IN EDWARDS ON MONDAY NIGHTS. BELOW IS PART OF THIS
CYCLOCROSS SPECIFIC WORKOUT ON VIDEO.
WARNING, YOU MUST BE IN TOP PHYSICAL CONDITION TO ATTEMPT THIS INTENSE WORKOUT, CONSULT YOUR PHYSICAIN BEFORE SHOWING UP ON MONDAYS.
(thanks UK!)

A HURRICANE SURVIVOR....

BLUEBIRD AT POMPANO PIER, A SURVIVOR OF HURRICANE WILMA
ALL THOUGH THE RESTARAUNT WAS NOT AS LUCKY AND IS NOW UNDER RECONSTRUCTION...

BUT IT IS THE PIER THAT BRINGS THE CHIKAS...

AND ANOTHER VISITOR ON A WINDY DAY, THE PORTUGESE MAN OF WAR, GET DRUNK AND GO SWIM WITH THIS BAD BOY AND SEE HOW SWOLLEN YOU CAN GET....


Monday, January 21, 2008

GOOOONE FISHIN........

There is a strain of bass in the world called a "Butterfly Peacock" bass which originated in the Jungle waters of South America. It is considered quite an exotic species amongst fisherman. Men travel thousands of miles and spend large sums of cash in pursuit of these rare beasts of the wild...funny thing is, most people do not even know they were stocked in the waters of South Florida nearly 30 years ago and that EVERY ONE OF THEM NOW LIVES ABOUT 50 YARDS OUTSIDE MY MOM'S CONDO IN FLORIDA...witness for yourself.

And then, while hanging at the beach one day, I happened upon this group of octagenarians playing some type of game I had never seen before, so I asked em about it. Only one prob, the Frenchies speak no englasio.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I JUST SAW THE TEMP IN EAGLE IS 3 DEGREES

WHAT I DID ON MY FLORIDA VACATION
91 SMOKIN DEGREES TODAY AT POMPANO BEACH


MAN THAT SUCKS, IT'S 73 HERE AND I'M OFF TO THE BEACH WITH A MISSION OF GETTING SOME BLOG MATERIAL AND A TAN. GREETINGS FROM POMPANO BEACH KIDS...MOM IS RESTING AT HOME AND BACK ON THE DAIRY QUEEN/DUNKIN DONUT PROGRAM...LIFE IS GOOD.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

BLOGGING FROM FLORIDA THIS WEEK....

BLOGGING WITH DIAL UP IS VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE..HOWEVER,A QUICK UPDATE ON MOM...
MOM, THE EVE OF SURGERY...

AS MANY OF YOU KNOW, THE REAL REASON I HEADED TO FLORIDA THIS WEEK WAS TO BE HERE FOR MY 80 YEAR OLD MOTHER'S LUNG SURGERY. I AM NOT DOWN HERE TO SOAK UP SUN, HIT THE BEACH, PLAY GOLF, NOR CYCLOCROSS RACE, ALL THOUGH I COULD HAVE AS THERE WERE TWO RACES HERE THIS WEEK....NO, THE REASON FOR THE TRAVEL HAS BEEN TO BE AT MOM'S SIDE AND MAKE SURE THIS WARRIOR IS ABLE TO BATTLE THROUGH SURGERY, RECOVERY AND A POSSIBLE CANCER SCARE AFTER HAVING A "SPOT" ON HER LUNG "WEDGED" AND REMOVED. IS SHE WORRIED? OF COURSE SHE'S WORRIED, HELL I'M WORRIED. BUT I ALSO KNOW MOM IS TOUGH AS NAILS.


SURGERY WAS A SUCCESS, AND ALL THOUGH MOM SAYS SHE FEELS LIKE SHE WAS HIT BY A TRUCK AFTER SURGERY, THE EXTREMELY GOOD NEWS IS THAT THE BIOPSY WAS NOT CANCEROUS. WHICH MEANS WITH ANY LUCK AT ALL MOM SHOULD BE READY TO DOMINATE THE 80+ FEMALE DIVISION OF CULT CROSS THIS SPRING. KEEPING FINGERS CROSSED THAT THE ORIGINAL PROGNOSIS STANDS UP. THANKS DOCTORS AND STAFF AT THE CLEVELAND CLINIC IN WESTIN, FLORIDA FOR HELPING OUT THE OLD GAL, SHE IS RESTING PEACEFULLY IN THE HOSPITAL TONIGHT AND SHOULD BE HEADED HOME IN THE NEXT DAY OR TWO BARRING ANY SETBACKS...YOU GO GIRL!


MORE TO COME...

80 SMOKIN DEGREES TODAY...CMON

Friday, January 11, 2008

I'D TELL YA, BUT I'D HAVE TO KILL YA......

YEAH YEAH YEAH, VAIL IS THE GREATEST.
THEN KEEP SKIING THERE AND LEAVE THIS FOR ME....
because the Beav don't suck....

LEARN SOMETHING TODAY

one lucky bastard
if you think you are bigger than nature herself, think again

Thursday, January 10, 2008

EARLY CULT CROSS FAVORITE EMERGES

An Early favorite has emerged with only nine weeks until the first CULT CROSS race at the Eagle Fairgrounds. Suffering through unprecedented training sessions, this black bear has emerged as the early odds on favorite to take the pro division of the Cult Cross series in the Vail Valley this spring. This bear has been seen doing hundreds of laps in prepartation on this old school Raleigh while he awaits shipment of his new custom Independent Fabrication Cross bike. When asked what he thought his chances were of taking the first ever CULT CROSS pro title, the bear responded by saying "I'll just eat the fucking competiton up". He then proceeded to crap out the remains of Ryan Trebon, who was last seen wreathing on the ground in pain at KCCX.

THE PERFECT COLD WEATHER ACCESSORY ADDITION..CHECK THIS OUT.


THE ULTIMATE COLD WEATHER ACCESSORY


I WOULD HAVE GIVEN UP MY LEFT NUT TO HAVE THIS THING AT KCCX THIS YEAR WHEN I FROZE BOTH MY BALLS OFF RACING.

one nut is better then none...

Every now and again someone (Matt Sodnicar) actually uses common sense to come up with a GREAT idea that is simple and works like a charm. Matt was kind enought to send one my way and it's the kind. Secures around your neck with a solid and comfy velcro closure in two seconds. The WARMFRONT is actually a bit longer than pictured and tucks into the top of you shorts or ski pants, it's super sweet.





check out this piece...QUICK to put on and take off. Remember that descent of Freemont pass this fall when you almost ended up in the hospital with hypothermia...if you had the WARM FRONT available in your jersey pocket, your core would have stayed waaaaaaay warmer and you would have pulled into the coffee shop at Copper feeling like a rockstar instead of like Nanuck of the North naked. This piece retails for $24.99 and a part of EVERY purchase goes here

and speaking of a warm core...don't forget that most awesome cup of JO and the bloggin center of the world, with wireless internet

YETI'S GRIND
Eagle, Colorado



Tuesday, January 8, 2008

IMPORTANT CULT CROSS UPDATE


THE CULT CROSS SERIES IS NOW OFFICIALLY ACA SANCTIONED. CHIEF REFEREE IS SECURED AND THE SERIES IS INSURED UNDER THE ACA UMBRELLA. BIG FUN AHEAD. I AM IN NEED OF EMT COVERAGE FOR ALL THREE RACES, ANY LEADS WILL BE APPRECIATED.


http://cultcross2008.blogspot.com/

THE TROUBLE WITH.....

Now being eligible for AARP while at the same time trying to ski with the young bucks like Jake Wells, Alex Coleman, Curt Nash, Jono Ridler (who is catching up) and Patrick Hernia Boy is that I now pay a SEVERE price for just occassionally skiing, and only skiing when it's DEEP, and skiing for 4-6 hours without stopping. The things you do not see when the video ends...well, I was home Sunday night with ice on both knees for an hour trying to get my body back to a tolerable state, heat pad on the lower back, this of course is now protocol after a big day on the Mountain...it's just too damn fun not to put up with the pain for a few hours...there is nothin better than RIPPIN with a keeeeeewl possie on a poooowder day. Anyway, the day left me reflecting on what it was like to ski when I was still in my 20,s and had me digging through old faded photos to remember how it was when I could actually ski all day, huck some modest air EVERY RUN (once in a while go John Spriggs Big), and wake up the next day feeling no pain and ready to CRUSH again..I found this pic in a box, circa 1985 and one of my favs. Pic was taken by Joey Kline, old school A-Basin ski patroller and Montezuma's Revenge Mountain Bike race champion who now travels the world designing MTB courses for international fields. This was from a road trip to Taos in 1985. Taos had been getting KILLED with snow early season so we drove through a nightmare nine hour drive in a blizzard from Summit County and arrived in the parking lot of Taos Ski Valley an hour before first chair. 90 inch base with 33 new the first day and 16 the second. This was the first run on day one. Coyote RD GS wood core skis (man I miss those beauts) in a 205....like butta in deep snow. Funny how the yellow goggles have blossomed into those GOD AWFUL yellow Rudy Project glasses I wear while cycling...anyway, the rest of the pics (and negatives, remember negatives?) from that day are probably buried in a box somewhere in Joey's belongings gathering mold...we had some GIANT air shots from that day which have probably dissappeared due to house fires (no shit), mouse nests in old Summit County houses, and simply misplacing things from self induced "weed" comas which that crew was infamous for twenty some odd years ago. This one being some "baby" air...yeah, I know, it's hard to believe that I actually hucked this battered body in my youth...but I indeed had my "Scott Schmidt" moments...touche!
Engines full throttle, prepare to launch......

I landed somewhere down here

Monday, January 7, 2008

WHO THE HELL NEEDS HELMETS AND SHOES?

WHEN YOU HAVE THE "WHEELIE BAR" FROM WHAM-O
GOT TO GET ONE FOR MY CROSS BIKE.
AHHHH, THE GOOD OLD DAYS, BEFORE SHOES AND HELMETS AND LAW SUITES WERE INVENTED. WHO THE HELL NEEDS A PLAYSTATION THREE ANYWAY?



Sunday, January 6, 2008

THE MAKINGS OF A POOOOOOOOOOOOOWDER DAY

FIRST THE DRIVE....


THEN HOOKIN UP WITH THE POSSIE


THEN RIPPIN THE CRAP OUT OF THE POW...
JONO, JAKE, CURT, ALEX, PATRICK AND TWO GURLY GIRLS WHO JUST HAPPENED TO BE AT THE RIGHT POWDER STASH AT THE RIGHT TIME CRUSHIN IT


AND THEN HOME FOR SOME TRAINING FOOD

Saturday, January 5, 2008

PODIUM GIRLS FOR CULT CROSS HAVE BEEN SELECTED

Because I'm now a race promoter who is only interested in the best welfare of the racer's who come to participate this spring at
CULT CROSS, I saw it only fit that these two young ladies should be our podium girls. So, I have chosen them to be such. Only one problem, I have no idea who they are or how the hell to get ahold of them. So, I will spend the next two months pursuing the "podium girls" of CULT CROSS. Any leads would be helpful. This may give just a tad more incentive to end up on the podium eh? How's about this, I build a podium big enough for the top ten in each category.

Ladies, I present Yogi as the podium Stud for this years series.


OK OK OK.....this is choice number two....ouch.

The official bike of Cult Cross? Are those real bones? This was pulled out of Geoffery Dammer's garage after his arrest.


Wednesday, January 2, 2008

NEW YEAR'S EVE CASUALTY

I FOUND THIS LITTLE GUY LAYING OUTSIDE OF JONO'S HOUSE THE MORNING AFTER HIS NEW YEAR'S PARTY WHEN I WENT BACK TO PICK UP MY CAR...I'M NOT SURE I REMEMBER DRINKING WITH THIS PARTICULAR SQUIRREL AT THE PARTY, BUT HE APPARENTLY HAD AS MUCH FUN AS THE REST OF US...

MY PICKS FOR THE IOWA CARCASS TOMORROW

BREAKING NEWS
ADDICTED TO BICYCLES NAILS THE CARCASS PREDICTION
HILLARY GETS FLOGGED LIKE A SOW IN IOWA
WE BELIEVE THE PICTURE OF HILLARY BELOW MAY HAVE COST HER



Addicted to Bicycles predicts a historical day in the Iowa Carcass tomorrow. On the Democrat's side we think Obama will take a squeeker. On the Republican side, we predict a landslide victory for Chuck Norris who is running on the "I'm personally going to dig that scumbag rat Osama out of his hole and double back kick his maggot infested beard up his ass" platform.
Funny, no matter who the next abuse absorbing schmuck is, that becomes our next el Presidente, my life will not change one iota. I will still continue to pay an idiot's fee for gasoline and watch the cost of living go through the roof all the while I'M STILL RIDING MY BIKE.

CHEERS!
just so long as we get this MORON out of office.


And then there is this, hmmmm interesting. Is that Monica Lewinsky she is counciling on the art of Billatio? Watch out for those choppers!


Tuesday, January 1, 2008

and this off of the "how to avoid the bummer life" blog

Big Steve P just deftly noted that Danny Summerhill looks quite alot like the fire fighter girl from the Tila Tequilla show.
Thats a real bummer Danny.



Courtney, you'll dig this post.....

ADDICTED TO BICYCLES "MAN OF THE YEAR" AWARD GOES TO


THIS GUY....
Maybe we should all chip in and buy this guy a trainer

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION

MAY 2008 BE AS GOOD AS 2007...

What a year 2007 was, and with any luck at all 2008 will bring as many great experiences and new friendships as the previous year.

Hopefully 2008 will bring you all the new bike shit you want, 29er single speeds chain or belt driven, carbon road bikes, hardtail, rigid, full suspension mountain bikes, of course cyclocross bikes, grippy tires, a shock that does not blow, injuries that heal quickly, a saddle that fits your ass perfect, disc brakes that need no adjustments, a killer cycling computer, a cruiser, a townie, a reason to get the hell out of the house and away from the wife/husband and kids to go ride, new single track, thousands of road miles, a pace line with Peter Davis pulling, several Leadville and Burns Loops, great riding in Fruita and Moab, MANY sick Monarch Crest rides, as few hours on the trainer as possible because it's freezing balls outside, a chance to ring the hell out of cowbells at CrossVegas in a drunken stupor, many chances to rest at the Yellow Chair or suffer on the A-10 climb, time to go ride with your wife/husband and kids, many rides through Glenwood Canyon, a great party at Jono's, and 40 MPH descents with no speed wobbles....

Ride your bikes in "08" for those who can't.

and be damn sure to show up for Cult Cross this spring.

LG