BALLS TO THE WALL FISHING

The only place to stay current on the latest manic ramblings from the Florida Panhandle.

CHEEKY FLY REELS, THE OFFICIAL REEL OF BALLS TO THE WALL FISHING

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

GIT ER DONE....

Somebody's got to do it....and I'm glad somebody did. Thank you somebody.

14 YEARS AND RUNNIN

Tomorrow morning at sunrise is the opening of Blue Grouse hunting season in Colorado, and all though that means nothing to the majority of you, it is a pretty damn good day to me, time to put away the lycra and baggies for a day, pull out this old stinky pile of hunting clothes which I have worn every opener for the last 14 years, and go find some birds.....

Monday, August 30, 2010

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO CROSS SEASON....

I was having so much damn fun riding my mountain bike I completely forgot about it, and then I stumbled upon a vij, and took a quick stop by GK's place at Mud and Cowbells, and realized it's just about to go down, in Steamboat, on September 11th. See you there, and I'm gonna call your ass out too.

U.S. gran prix of cyclocross from Jim Fryer/BrakeThrough Media on Vimeo.

And, I'm in a very odd place this season, no longer really willing to train and go for a pointless top 20 in the 35+ Cat 4's, hell, I'm 53 this month and a freeeekin professional race announcer now, but I still long to line it up, and suffer, and pass and be passed, and laugh about it when it's all over, because nobody in hell gives a rats ass where I might finish in a race, except the people who dislike what I'm all about and who enjoy seeing me suffer and fail...and you know what, for those, I may just train for a race or two and get out there and make them grind their teeth one more time...sounds like a plan to me. Touche.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

I'VE GONE AND DONE IT NOW.......BLAME IT ALL ON GROSSMAN

and I aint turnin back....
Next up, Steamboat Stage Race Crits on Monday, Steamboat CX on 9/11, Frisco Cross on October 2nd and 3rd, a couple more Cross events in November, and anything else the rest of you want to hire me for, I'm in. Period.
You want just another bike race?
OR DO YOU WANT TO
PARTY?

Saturday, August 28, 2010

BITE OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW, AND EAT IT

Georgia Pass conquered with the Mafia boys, Gregory and McFarling, the weird shit was yet to come....this is at 11,800 ft.For the first time all cycling season, I'm worked. After two big days riding locally, I was prepared for a rest day when Courtney Wuwuwuwuwuzup Gregory called last night while I was still riding home in the dark after a Half Humper ride which included some maintenance. He wanted to do some kind of concocted road trip ride and I was invited. I knew any ride was gonna be tough to pull off, but this one in particular hurt. Kenosha Pass to the top of Georgia Pass via the Colorado Trail. With the Freak driving up from Denver to meet us, I knew that starting this ride unrested would be a punisher, and it was, but it was damn good fun, and it was really good to be riding with two of my best home boyz for the first time in a very long time. This ride was waaaay more than I could chew, but I force fed myself and we had a blast, and it was good to get back to the car and bullshit for a while. I was old today, and the young guyz were not. Then the crazy shit started flying. We are chatting it up in the parking lot when these two motos pull over next to us, with people who were wearing Spiderman moto masks. They stopped with their fat kids to take a cigarette break. Then a family of three kind of bike riders rode across HWY 285 in front of us and almost got smeered by a car. This was followed very shortly by two cars who passed us going about 75 miles an hour, just barely made the pass, then slammed on their brakes in front of us going 75 miles an hour nearly killing us both, instantly, which I had reserved a very special middle finger for...
Then, we stop at the Hungry Moose Caboose for the "Worlds Greatest Burger", which I was a bit curious about, in the town of Jefferson, and you know what, the shit may have been the Best Burger in the World, it damn sure didnt suck. Perhaps the best part of this visit was the personal soda tour we were given prior to ordering from the voluptuous burger vixen, but actually it was when the Burger chef asked us how we knew about their "World's Best Burger" reputation to which we replied, "it says so on your sign".....goober.
Ryan McFarling presented me with this water bottle at the end of our ride, if you don't get it, don't ask...
Courtney and Freakster chattin up the climb, which buried me, and the Freak turned it up a notch on the way back and KILLED it. Ya get to a point where you are just thankful to be riding with such caliber and talent in such a SWEET place. GREAT day indeed.
and what makes these burgers the "World's Best"?

Good to be back on the dirt, especailly new dirt, with the boyzk...


2010 WAS A GREAT LOCAL TOWN RACE SERIES...

Retired from suffering, a new career as the "loud mouth" of the Vail town series was born. Racer numbers were LARGE this season, and as usual the competition fierce. Mountain Pedaler/Dusty Boot regained the overall team title once again after a year as bride's maid.
Wednesday's pre-race interview with eventual series overall winner Men's Pro Jay Henry at the Beaver Creek Bash. Gretchen Reeves took honors on the women's side. Racer turnout was solid all season.

Friday, August 27, 2010

PICKIN UP PIECES....

Droppin in back to Eagle
OOOO Boyz it's hot in town, but just get your climb on for thirty minutes out of Eagle and it's absolutely perfect riding temps. FINALLY, an entire day off with NOTHING to think about, well, nearly nothing. After and adventure at the Driver's License office in Glenwood Springs, (what a treat that was) It was time to head out and do some Humper Clean up, and ride. Rumor had it that the Reynolds Rap name sake had cleared Pipeline, and sure enough, it was clear. I myself brought implements to clean up some of the stuff that pummeled all of us during the Humper, and Walla, it was the perf Gilligan's Island "three hour tour".

Pink Clothes Pins, pack em out if ya find em..please. This one marking the beginning of the climb to Mike's
The story of Dead Cow

Mike's is boiler plate from rain last week, and smokin fast, and clear, ahem.
Mike's Hike a Bike, all the pain is all but over here...

Thursday, August 26, 2010

IN THE WORDS OF J DUBBS, "IT'S OFFICIAL"

We have an official Hardscrabble Humper Gran Fondolista trophy, compliments of Courtney Wuwuwuwuwuwuwuzup Gregory, and honorably presented to Jake Wells who took the first annual edition of this brutal loop. Zoom in on this bad boy and see the FIRST winners name embossed...I've got to say, for having nothing to do with coming up with this idea, I freekin love it. May you have the chance to have your name posted on it someday. THIS, is the Stanley Cup of Mountain Biking my friends.

JAAAAAAAYYYYY HENNNNNNNNRYYYYYYY!

VAIL DAILY PHOTO Kristen Anderson
On a warm and dusty night at the Beaver Creek Blast, the heavil;y anticipated battle between Jay Henry and Jake Wells and Josiah Middaugh took place and it was a pier six brawl from the go according to the three racers. Josiah led out a blistering pace on the paved section of the big first climb, but Jay Henry left the field with a signature late attack on the final big climb of the race to drop Jake and Josiah. Wells finished only 30 seconds back, but it was Jay Henry's day as he secured another overall title in the Vail Town Series. The other big news of the eve was the announced retirement of Mike Kloser from racing, who finished fourth on the night. One thing Mike did not retire from yet is buying pitchers of beer as long as we kept drinking them, and we are all champions this morning, trust me.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

TONIGHT IN BEAVER CREEK, CLASH OF THE TITANS

A battle of epic proportions is brewing on the hill at Beaver Creek resort tonight. Jake Wells vs Jay Henry for all the marbles and the prestigous overall pro title in the Vail Rec District Mountain Bike series is on the line. These two will suit up and throw body blows at each other one last time this season just as they have all summer, the point totals are just about even, and tonight the crown will be determined. Ali and Frazier had nothing on these guys.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

FIRST ANNUAL BIKINI VAIL PASS RIDE?

Look, I'm not really sure what happened today, but I was asked to be a part of a promotional "bike ride" up Vail Pass for Church and State Optics, a locally grown women's goggle company owned and operated by K Dubs. Before I cause too much trouble, which I rarely if ever do, I'll share a couple of pictures with you from todays ride up Vail Pass, to the top, in ideal weather conditions, for riding it in a Bikini. Out of respect for myself and my riding partners, I refuse to post the really good pictures here on A2B until approval is approved, I'm just glad I was able to operate the camera and the bike without running over my tongue too many times today, especially on the descent. Enough said.

And I particularly enjoyed these http://www.livelikemike.org/ pics on the road
Just after that stumbling upon what someone had painted over the old Live Strong words on the Vail Pass Time Trial road....clever.
Um, well, yeah, you know. Squirt Lube "along" for the Bikini ride with Kate the Great Wingard, President/CEO/Owner of Church and State Optics.

Monday, August 23, 2010

NOAH TALLEY

photo poached from Noah's Facebook page
Look, we all play our favorites, so when I called Jake Wells to be first in at the 24 Hours in the Sage on lap one, on a singlespeed for the first time, I thought it was a pretty good shot. Problem is, I was announcing the event and made my bold statement over the PA prior to the start of the race as a loose prediction of things to come. So we are getting close to our first rider coming in after lap one, and this fifteen year old shows up, in 50:16. And everyone is like.....WHAT? So I scan my bib sheet and find this KIDS name, and it's Noah Talley from Utah. And then Jake Wells comes in a COUPLE of minutes later. The rest of his team was smokin as well, all throwing sub hour laps for the entire race en route to a route of the rest of the team fields. Bottom line is this kid is top notch, already is hooked by Cannondale and Squirt Lube, and is into CYCLOCROSS. His dad has got all his ducks in a row as well and Noah is FOR REAL. Fastest day and night lap, in his first ever 24 hour event. You WILL be seeing this name often at the top, stay tuned. Noah blew EVERYONE away in Gunnison this weekend.
(Brief Update)
In response to the below comment, Noah has been racing Moto since he was 7 and was VERY accomplished at this as well, hence his mad handling skills and negative body fat.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

WHY I DIG THE 24 IN THE SAGE AND JEFF PLACE....

This weekend was a true test. I have been looking forward to this one for quite sometime as I was given the opportunity to announce an event which I already considered to be the most fun 24 Hour mountain bike racing event in the country. If you have not been to Gunnison for the 24 Hours in the Sage, which is promoted and organized by Mitch Fedak and crew, you just will not understand these words. This race is 110% about the soul of mountain biking and what it stands for, fun. Where the hell else can you pick up bottles of "special edition" 24 Hours in the Sage "Hot Lap" Habanero sauce AND a bottle of "Dave's Chamois Cream Soda"?? Along with some sweet 24 in the Sage socks and tons of other shwag? And the soda, modeled after KOA Dave, who is one of the most gracious people you will ever meet in your life, is EXCELLENT!

This pic was clearly taken during day one when the energy levels were off the charts and I had no beard. The race is based out of the KOA campground in Gunnison, which means you have REAL toilets, showers, bike washing areas and ALL the comforts of home. No gritty sand in your teeth after this one folks...
The 4 man Singlespeed podium was pretty Streetswelled up, 1st and 3rd with Mike Skellion's WD-40 team second.
Jeff Place gets ready for a hot night lap, well, kind of hot, under a near full moon, no big deal. I believe this was right at Scotch Thirty.
The parting shot, Fedak's Townie class cruiser bike takes a post race bath.

In the end, your men's and women's solo winners were Dan Loftus and Kris Cannon (3 peat!). Loftus was able to overcome the World U25 Taylor Lideen when Lideen got altitude sickness VERY late in the race and had to drop out with a near two lap lead, giving Loftus the win...
Thanks to Derrick Fish for the laughs from across the pond, technology has ruined us, when you have free wi-fi at the announcer's booth during a 24 hour event, some funny shit is going to go down, and it did. Facebook updates from people who were 200 yards away during the event kept things pretty humorous, and rockin Pandora music through the PA didn't suck either, except for the commercials.

As for Jeff Place, well he saved my ass last night, and deserves an A2B shout out for good Karma. I drove home from Gunnison yesterday after burying myself on the Mic for 24 hours, almost fell asleep 10 times on Kebler Pass while driving, pounded a #2 Value meal from McD's, drank three cokes, and made it back to Eagle exhausted, at which time I decided to gear up and go for a ride as it was a PERFECT eve to ride despite being a bit on the sleepy side. I made the decision to take no phone, and just enough to fix ONE flat, which NEVER happens. Upon descending the race course from the top of the Boneyard, I flatted, and without all the lame details, I had a small knobby tear that needed some love. I flatted far away from home, was tired, had no pump, and "wasted" my CO2 before realizing the hole was kind of large. So I walked down the hill with the hopes that Jeff Place would answer his door even though he himself had just raced the 24 in the Sage and drove home as well. He was there, had a pump, answered the door, and kept me from arriving home at 10pm. Free Squirt for you my friend.

Friday, August 20, 2010

MY LIFE IS WACKED

I do not even know which way is up these days, work all day, play music and DJ at a wedding tonight, get up at 4am and drive to Gunnison to announce the 24 Hours in the Sage, then drive home and go back to work on Monday....wtf, and try and ride my bikes in monsoonal weather, brutal, but fun....ROOOOOOOOOAD TRIIIIIIIIPPPPP!!!
Time for the Gunnysack onslaught and a visit back to the first place I ever lived in Colorado, The Trough.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

GUESS WHO'S COMING TO GUNNY?

That's right, you're gettin 24 Hours of madness on the mic this weekend from Elgee himself, this aint gonna be no bike race, it's gonna be a freekin party!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

HUMPERS MAKE THE PAPER

avery cunliffe photo
Much thanks to all of you who came to ride the first Humper, it was a day to remember. Above are some of the men and women who throwed.

And congrats on making the paper today, well done.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

HARDSCRABBLE HUMPER TURNS TO HARDSCRABBLE THUMPER

As I approached the Mountain Pedaler from Broadway this morning at about 6:50am, I saw a couple of riders preparing to go ride the Hardscrabble Humper, a self concocted sufferfest that some friends had suggested we do a few months ago. I thought to myself this is perfect, A pretty small group of riders that we can hopefully kind of keep together during the ride and keep it mellow. Then I got to the intersection of Broadway and Second street, home of our local bike shop, and looked down the road. I almost shit. There were 40 riders there, and it was virtually an allstar line-up ready to go pound the dirt. So we went and rode, Gran Fondo style, and it was an amazing day. Not a cloud in the sky, 40 miles of unreal riding, new friends, plenty of crashes with no serious injuries (update; Brian Ingolsby apparently is OK after wrecking on the Plunge pretty big, cat scan was negative, thankfully), and huge smiles at the end of the day. Perfect. Here is the GPS track from Jake Wells...
Riders prepare for the BIG ride


Allstar line-up including Jake Wells, John Klish Steve White, Courtney Gregory, and so many more HEAVIES from the valley, and many riders who just came down to check out the Eagle scene, they were blown away by the riding

The roll out was impressive down main street, Charlie Evans with the scooter neutral lead out.

The start of roughly 38 miles of dirt Things start to sort out on the way to Pipeline Perfect weather, Perfect ride, Perfect group Wells and Klish off the front as they roll past the Wolverton entrance to the Firebox cut off Linda and Tatum Wells with the first aid station, snacks galore and icy beverages, thanks girls! Just some minor mechanical issues, nothing major. And then out in the middle of no where, on the way to the Mike's Night Out hike a bike, a wonderfully placed box of ribbed condoms. What were you guys off the front doing up there? The top of Mike's, time to RIP downhill, for a very long time. Mike's was crazy fun, pretty grown over with sage logs on trail from walking cows, definitely needed your "A" game here. Then home for a little Compex love, not sure that even helped, we are all toasted! The first Humper was a HUGE success, 40 starters, perhaps 15 finished, and the rest of the riders raved about the riding, they will hopefully come back and finish the course on their own time. Finishing the ride with the climb to the Yellow Chair is a fitting and very brutal finish, but that is how it was intended, riding this section clean at the end of the Humper is a monumental task, I could not pull it off, but was terribly close, and that is good enough. This ride will happen again, and it will be bigger.

Some highlights.
Steepest grade-Mikes Night Out hike a bike...51%
Steepest grade we rode-Upper Firebox road....25%
Steepest Descent-off course the Plunge....46%, and it's long
Average Temperature during the day-71 Degrees
Either 6600 or 6800 vertical feet
Just under 40 miles
Sore bodies-everyone.
Thank you all for coming out, it was a day we will talk about for a long time.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

THIRD PLACE IN THE HARDSCRABBLE HUMPER PRIZE...AND THE COURSE DESCRIPTION

Is one new, tall Mellow Johnny's cycling sock, I'm not really sure what happened to the other one but I had two when I started my road trip to Interbike last year, ask Courtney Gregory about it, he may know more...

All riders will meet at Charlie Brown's shop in Eagle between 6-7am, we leave the shop at 7am for the Humper. Bring ALOT of water and food, a cell phone, and two tubes if you are not familiar with the course. This aint no joy ride. There is talk of a food and water drop the eve before but that is up to you guys and gals, probably at the bottom of the Plunge or Star Wars would be best...see you Sunday morning, this will be LARGE.

HERE IS THE COURSE DESCRIPTION...
Meet at the Mountain Pedaler Bike Shop in Eagle and be ready to roll by 7am.

We roll out to the Third Gulch parking lot and ascend PIPELINE to the WOLVERTON LOOP

Finish Wolverton Loop and head back up Hardscrabble road to the FIREBOX ROAD SINGLETRACK cutoff, this is only about 500 yards on the road, exit right.

Ride FIREBOX ROAD to the top of DEAD COW

Descend DEAD COW 2/3 of the way, turn LEFT and climb (this climb is survival, spin it to Mike's) to the short hike a bike to MIKE'S NIGHT OUT, you have now climbed 4600 ft. in about 15 miles

Descend MIKE'S NIGHT OUT and turn left on SPRING CREEK ROAD to the entry to CATWALK which is to the left and starts at the COW CAMP sign on the scrub oak tree island. This is only a couple of hundred yards on the road.

Rip CATWALK , (easy to miss this short climb to Easy Rider) turn right then descend EASYRIDER, climb to and descend STARWARS.

Turn right at the bottom of STARWARS and climb to the top of the PLUNGE (ouch), descend THE PLUNGE and MIND ERASER.

Turn right at the bottom in HOCKETT GULCH and ride up TICK ALLEY (HUGE ouch)

Descend ABRAMS SINGLETRACK

Ride the bike path back to the THIRD GULCH parking lot

YOU ARE DONE, DRINK BEER

Every rider is responsible for their own support. I plan on riding this ride as a guide and sweep Gran Fondo style, There are a ton of places to BAIL safely should you get beat into submission, which many of you will. The course is NOT marked and as you know the trail system on Hardscrabble Mountain is extensive and confusing at best, even with a map. The cows have gotten the best of some of our pristine singletrack, so be prepared for a bit of bumpy riding, and don't bitch, this is mountain biking. This aint no Disco Party, but it will be one of the greatest mountain bike rides you ever do in your life, guaranteed. 35 miles of single track pain and heaven all in one. See you there.

A2B HERO OF THE YEAR...STEVEN SLATER

Don't even consider telling me there has ever been a better way to leave a job.....I want to hire this guy as an A2B correspondant, immediately.
His Mother must be so damn proud...
He kind of looks like the kid from "Home Alone" don't he?

Monday, August 9, 2010

OK, LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT...

Photo Michael Kane, who's kid Kevin finished 3rd on the day in the pro field..
I am NOT a Colorado State Champion, the person who won the 50+
Cat 1 race on Saturday is THE 50+ State Champion. I have long had a problem with crowning riders who win anything but the elite field in their age classifications "Champions". This is no different for me, and I'm uncomfotable with people saying I'm a State Champion when some other guy is. I was undeniably the fastest guy in the Cat 2 "state championship" on Saturday at Keystone, and take some personal satisfaction in the fact that I beat the rider I wanted to, because a loose screw on a cleat ended my chances last year at Snowmass to win this category of the "second fastest guys" which "this guy" won. I may have won the "world's greatest sandbagger" title on Saturday, and I can live with that, and you can call me out on that one and I won't lose a wink of sleep. It is however nice to have a new jersey to crash in and get dirty, rip and do trail work in, because what it says on it really is not what it is, the other guy who won the Cat 1 race is the true champion....so now we are straight.

IT'S A DOG'S WORLD, ALWAYS HAS BEEN....

We all know it's a dog's world and always will be, of course when a cool dog ends up in the right place with the right owner it's a downright blissful situation. Dogs are amazing beings, they are just plain and simply unconditional, about everything, they do not even know they are sick when they get sick and just go about their day as if it is really not much of a bother at all, they wag their tail, go on their walks, steal the chicken off the table if it's left unattended for 30 seconds, and love everyone every time they see them no matter that person's personality flaws. When in the hell is the rest of the world going to figure THAT out?
Noe, I only knew you for a short time, but you were top notch, along with the rest of your family, and I had fun with ya, and I particularly enjoyed sneaking you food from the table when I shouldn't, I think we have some things in common....
Rest in piece girl, I know you are catching every single ground squirrel and chipmunk you chase now.......