BALLS TO THE WALL FISHING

The only place to stay current on the latest manic ramblings from the Florida Panhandle.

CHEEKY FLY REELS, THE OFFICIAL REEL OF BALLS TO THE WALL FISHING

Sunday, August 31, 2008

ADDICTED TO BEIN A GOOD OL BOY....

a limit of Michigan Ruffed Grouse...

ATTENTION ALL MOUNTAIN BIKERS...TOMORROW IS THE OPENING OF GROUSE SEASON. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR US? WELL THERE ARE GOING TO BE PLENTY OF GUN TOTING REDNECKS IN THE WOODS CHASIN CRITTERS AROUND LOOKIN TO PUT A FRESH MEAL ON THE PLATE, HENCE, WEAR LOTS OF BRIGHT COLORS WHILE RIDING IN THE BACKCOUNTRY AS IT WOULD SUCK TO END UP A STUFFED MTB'ER ON A PLATTER WITH ALL THE SIDE DISHES AND EVERYTHANG. ESPECIALLY SINCE ONE OF DEM DERE GOOD OL BOYS HUNTIN COULD BE ME...NOTHIN BETTER THAN A GOOD OL GUN SLINGIN DEM.

ADDICTED TO BICYCLES HURRICANE WARNING

Despite the fact that Gustav is going to create some world class Cyclocross conditions in the New Orleans area, we are suggesting you get the hell out of dodge for the time being and change over to your "Michelin Muds" for post storm racing...

honestly folks, batten down the hatches, head north to Fayetteville and go dance to the Jed Clampett Band for a few days, may you all get through this one safe, looks like a motha.

Friday, August 29, 2008

ROAD RIDE!!!

The theme of the week, well actually, my entire life, has been if things mostly kind of suck, go do something really fun, especially if it's a killer nice day outside, because if you don't you never get that day back.
SO GO CRUSH THE FUN METER.
I decided to hop on the road bike and ride to Glenwood Springs before the Labor Day weekend surge hit the high country. While chowin an energy bar and coke at the Glenwood Pool overlook, this kid comes by on his BMX bike and starts RIPPIN tricks. I think he needs a lube sponsor...


Perf Day in the Canyon

Rocky Mountain Big Horn Sheep chowin next to the bike path...

"Upper Death" Rapid on the Colorado River in the Canyon. Gonna get Jah-No-Brah and his Ducky to run this tomorrow. Vij @ 9

EXPERIENCE, EXPERIENCE, EXPERIENCE!!!

My fellow Americans, Addicted to Bicycles would like to introduce you to the next President of the United States should John McCrank's heart stop ticking or should he blow a brain vein should he win the presidency this coming November. I think these are both fairly reasonable assumptions...

Sarah Palin from Alaska may be throwing out the first ball at a baseball game near you soon!

JUST AFTER THIS PHOTO SHOOT, RUMOR HAS IT SHE WENT OUT AND SHOT THE SHIT OUT OF SOME GRIZZLY BEARS TO HELP DECORATE HER COUCHES...GUESS WE KNOW HER STANCE ON CONSERVATION. I'M GONNA GO OUT ON A LIMB AND BET SHE DOESNT MOUNTAIN BIKE.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

COLORADO STATE SHORT TRACK RACE PART TWO.....ELDORA SKI BASIN

From Elgee's helmet pro helmet cam

A HOME RUN??

Pretty crazy crowd in Denver last night...I hear the Barackowrap and the catfish fry were two of the big hits at the vendor stands. Now it's John McCranks turn.

WHAT THE HELL IS SO EPIC ABOUT THIS?


I WENT TO THE POST OFFICE TODAY IN EAGLE ON AN 85 DEGREE HOT AND SUNNY DAY. I HAD JUST REMINDED MYSELF HOW PERFECT THE WEATHER HAS BEEN AND HOW I HOPE IT NEVER ENDS. THEN I OPENED MY MAIL BOX AND FOUND THIS, I IMMEDIATELY CALLED THE LOCAL MENTAL HEALTH DIVISION AND TOLD THEM I NEEDED HELP NOW. ON TOP OF THE SIX INCHES OF SNOW VAIL PASS GOT TWO AND A HALF WEEKS AGO, THIS IS JUST INSULT TO INJURY AND I'LL HAVE NONE OF IT. MY FREAKIN "EPIC" SEASON SKI PASS SHOWED UP TODAY. WITH UNLIMITED MOUNTAIN ACCESS I WAS THINKIN TODAY MIGHT BE A GOOD DAY TO GO MAKE SOME TURNS BEFORE THE "EPIC" GINORMOUS CROWDS HIT VAIL MOUNTAIN THIS WINTER. CAN THIS BE THAT CLOSE?

2008 STATE CHAMPIONSHIP SHORT TRACK HELMETPRO CAM...

This is the view from my head, at the 2008 Colorado State Championship Short Track race at Eldora last weekend. This is both the 40+ and the 50+ Categories as they sent us off together. I consider these efforts "half a cross race" without the dismounts, you always either do or want to puke as soon as you cross the finish...this is part one.


THE INFAMOUS YELLOW SPOTTED WRINKLED BACK BROWN TROUT (YOU HAD TO BE THERE)

Last night was the team party for the Mountain Pedaler racing team which technically I was crashing as I did not race for the team this year, but decided to go hang with the homies just the same as the Popester and Charlie Brown hosted a feed at Moe's BBQ in Eagle. The real fun started after dark when the night ride took place. With implements of destruction in hand, we headed out to the Boneyard, with nine riders, two good lights, a Tony Hawk Helmet, two rental helmets, two riders on cyclocross bikes, three riders in sandles, one of which was riding clipless pedals on a singlespeed that was too small. You get the picture. We headed out in search of the infamous "yellow spotted wrinkled back brown trout" as seen above but never found it. We did however have a great ride, with only one big toe getting the skin peeled off of it. Dat be mine.....

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

SS WORLD'S REPORT IS IN FROM HERMALLINI...

I finally had a chance to catch up with the Herminator today regarding SS World's. Here is a link to check out, this will give you some idea...
Apparently there are no finishing places kept as they only count who wins in Men's and Women's classes, the entire field of 400 is "Open" otherwise. Initial counts have Amy Hermes finishing 4th or 5th, seems there was a discrepency on one rider due to the costume issue to which I reply "no comment".
The catch words from my conversation with Amy were words like "wine", "whiskey", "hard singletrack", "costumes", "shopping cart", "bike issues", and "FUN".
Guess that wraps it up.

18 DAYS UNTIL THE START OF CYCLOCROSS SEASON AT BRECKTOBERCROSS!

JDUBS MAKIN THE SAVE IN BRECK LAST YEAR WITH KATIE COMPTON HOT ON HIS TAIL IN THE MEN'S PRO FIELD.



SEPTEMBER 14TH IN BRECKENRIDGE THE SUFFERING BEGINS, WITH ONE OF CYCLOCROSS'S MOST CRUSHING RUN-UPS!
SON OF CULTCROSS IS OFF, BUT CULTCROSS WILL LIKELY BE BACK THIS SPRING!
JDUBS ON THE BRECK RUN UP LAST YEAR

PLAY BALL!!!!

With the pennant races heating up in the Major Leagues this fall, is there anything better than taking a day off the bike to check out a Rockies game in Denver while Hillary is in town calming the nerves of bitter lesbians and sitting down with the family to munch on a foot long hot dog, chug big guy beers, eat a bag of peanuts and then take a baseball bat right off the chops? Now that sounds like a great rest day to me!

Monday, August 25, 2008

ELDORA, SHORT TRACK, XC AND A MOOSE

Looks like a moose to me....
Saturday at Eldora brought epic State Championship short track racing, a really fun XC race on Sunday and a moose during set-up Sunday Morning. Unfortunately for most there they were not up early enough to check out Bullwinkle, and most told me it was probably an Elk. To which I replied, the thing was like 100 feet from me dude, I think I can tell the small difference (about 1000 lbs.) between a bull moose and an elk, not to mention the antlers...or maybe it was a Sasquach?
Racers chillin at the SQUIRT tent
Jay poised on lap two, chasin Soler
Gretchen Reeves out of the saddle chasin....

Sunday, August 24, 2008

AND THE MEN'S OLYMPIC GOLD GOES TO..



photo velo news
ABSALON...

Look gang, if you have not tried SQUIRT lube yet, you are just plain off the back right now. This past week SQUIRT has helped produce these results.
Conrad Stoltz crushin it at the Xterra Mountain Championship

Jay Henry winning a State Championship Short Track race yesterday and the Edlora Pro XC race today.

And me, flatting three times and running two and a half miles at Eldora and finishing dead last in my age group, as a matter of fact, an hour back on someone else's bike (thanks Brad Stamp), but finishing just the same. I could not have done it without SQUIRT LUBE.

I did manage a second on Saturday in my State Championship Short Track race...

GET ON THE SQUIRT, OR FALL OF THE BACK!

Friday, August 22, 2008

AMY HERMES GOES FOR A WORLD SINGLESPEED CHAMPIONSHIP IN CALIFORNIA...TOMORROW

With back to back State and Marathon National singlespeed champioships under her belt. Amy Hermes is stepping up and taking on the rest of the world tomorrow at the WORLD SINGLESPEED CHAMPIONSHIPS. Addicted to Bicycles spoke to her this afternoon and she is ready, our advice, worry about Amy's race and let the rest of the world worry about the Herminator.
Go gurl go...

POOR MOTORCYCLE....

Just another reason to pedal....and remain Addicted to Bicycles....

Thursday, August 21, 2008

AND THEN JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOUR DAY SUCKED...


IT REALLY SUCKED BIG TIME FOR SOMEBODY ELSE...

Uh, how bout a big WTF. Brutal

WHEN YOUR LIFE SEEMS TO BE CRAPPING THE BED IN EVERY IMAGINABLE WAY.....

Only one thing to do on an 85 degree sunny day and the Eagle River running gin clear with the wind blowing, which means in the heat of the day there are some grasshoppers floatin around, trust me on this one folks...how's about a big ol Eagle River Rainbow trout or two...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

UHHHHH........AM I THE ONLY ONE THINKIN?

One of my responsibilities blogging is to stir the pot up a bit and see what transpires. Now am I the only person in the world thinkin that it's a bit unusual that the Jamaicans are crushing everyone in the running events? I mean, they are not just winning, they are CRUSHING everyone else. I mean come on, what the hell are they cookin up down there on the islands that has these athletes super charged? Addicted to Bicycles says GET THE PISS BUCKET OUT FELLAS!


Could this be a top secret Jamaican training vij?

A GHOST FROM THE PAST...

So I'm doing the big summer clean-up in my place due to the fact that I've got a roomy movin in next month, and I've got so much shit in my condo I've got to throw out half of it to make room. While I'm sorting through the piles of crap I've hauled around my entire adult life, I came upon this beauty. Back in 1965, when I was 8 years old, I was visciously attacked by a bull dog in the neighborhood while playing ball with some of my buddies...my mom (Bernice) kept the article and it came out of the mothballs today during my clean-up....the note from the dog's owner is here as well, apparently at age 8, I was a "very brave man" after almost having my arm ripped off my body. I believe once they got the dog off me I told the dog's (Collins) owner I was going to kick the dog right upside his f'n head.





Above, the envelope my $20 gift certificate to Bambergers department store came in.....kinda cool that she told me to "choose whatever my heart desires". I think I bought a slingshot and went back and jacked the dog upside his head with a rock the next week.

DAWES WILSON SECRETS REVEALED....

While on a recon mission this weekend at the Xterra race at Snow Basin, Utah, I was startled to find the true secret to the legend of Dawes Wilson. Apparently, the secret to his dominance over the years is to hang out around the Paul Mitchell booth and score a haircut which gives him unsurpassable powers and enables him to not only do training rides from L.A. to N.Y. and back every morning, but also allows him to dominate many endurance events. I call this the "Reverse Sampson" syndrome. If I had more hair I'd try it. Anyone have a tube of Rogain I can borrow? I thought I overheard him say he wanted the "Jonas" cut.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

A NEW NOMINEE FOR DOUCHE BAG OF THE YEAR...

HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY....

I figured after 20,000 hits in less than the first year of blogging here the blog deserved to start off the second 20,000 hits with a post reflective of another sick e-mail from one of my sick friends. I'm not sure if this "lucky" kitty is actually sleeping in a very safe and warm place, or if the poor bastard actually smothered itself while trying to breast feed off of it's surrogate mother, either way, it would'nt "suck" to be this little critter. I've heard of rednecks in Florida burying cats up to their necks in the dirt for their own sick pleasure before, I guess this one makes it all even. Hope the little kitty has been declawed.

Monday, August 18, 2008

A MILESTONE FOR ADDICTED TO BICYCLES

A HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU WHO TAKE TIME OUT OF YOUR DAY TO READ THIS RAMBLING PILE OF CRAP.
ADDICTED TO BICYCLES REACHED 20,000 HITS THIS MORNING! AWESOME!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

PICS AND VIJ FROM THE 2008 XTERRA MOUNTAIN CHAMPIONSHIPS

The start of the day for SQUIRT man...

Addicted to swimming? These guys and gals a freakin nuts...

Stoltz out of the water and the sport race start...
transition, transition, transition...
THAT'S A WRAP FROM OGDEN! JUST ME AND JENNA UNDER THE FOOL MOON..
Josiah heading for the bike....
Brian Smith chasing the leaders, Stoltz and Vine
Mike Vine just seconds behind Stoltz out of transition
Xterra Chaos about to break loose in the water..
Melanie McQuaid getting ready to kill it on the bike...
Shonny comin in HOT to the transition...
With Jen Smith hot on her tail currently in third...



A QUICK RANT ABOUT SPORTSMANSHIP AT THE OLYMPICS THIS YEAR...

I watched part of a women's volleyball match in the Olympics this afternoon. It was a best two of three match and early in the first game with the USA women well ahead of the China team, one of the USA gals served up an Ace and then turned to the Chinese crowd and held her finger to her mouth to tell the Chinese fans to shut-up because they were getting beaten.
Now, am I the only American who then enjoyed watching the Chinese women KICK THE SHIT out of this arrogant duo? I mean who the "f" do you think you are. You get invited to play in the Olympics, which is a priveledge to begin with, then work your way through the ranks to have the opportunity to play the host team in a match in front of an excited home crowd, and early in the match you disrespect the hell out of their team and ther fans and their country by telling them to "shut up" because you just served up an Ace which is what you are supposed to do? YOU MORONS. Then these two American women had to EAT THE SHIT they had served up as they just plain and simply GOT THEIR ASSES HANDED TO THEM...god that was embarrassing. Save that bullshit for the beach in Laguna girls, not the feakin Olympic stage.

SQUIRT LUBE ATHLETES DOMINATE XTERRA

The men’s race at the front was the closest XTERRA has seen in a long time as Stoltz’ winning time of 2:21:32 was less than a minute faster than the next four racers with Vine coming in at 2:22:03, Brian Smith in 2:22:12 and last year’s race winner Seth Wealing in 2:22:22
Josiah was a couple of minutes back of the top four finishers. And what did the podge finishers all have in common? They all use SQUIRT to lube their Mountain Bike rigs, simply the greatest testament to the wonders of SQUIRT. Actually, Mike Vine, from Canada, who finished just 29 seconds behind Stoltz, stopped by the SQUIRT tent after the race and wanted the SQUIRT hook-up. He's heard the advantages from the other top Xterra racers, and now he is on the SQUIRT train as well, meaning the top 5 finishers from today's race are now on board.
Stoltz, Vine, Smith and Wealing at the finish


Stoltz heads out on the run just seconds in front of Vine

STEVE WHITE FROM VAIL CRUSHED BIG TIME

Next time you guys and gals see Steve White tooling around the valley, be sure to congratulate him on just one hell of a race in Ogden. Steve was 15th overall out of 700+ racers, won his age division, and was the second fastest amateur overall. He was first going into the running leg until some young buck caught him and beat him by a couple of minutes to the line. Steve was psyched.

Josiah Middaugh was 5th overall and stopped by the SQUIRT booth after the race, he was pretty disapponted with his finish but is sure to be a force the rest of the season.

XTERAA MOUNTAIN CHAMPIONSHIP....RAD

The Xterra Mountain Championships took place this weekend at Snow Basin just outside of Ogden, Utah. "Insanity" comes to mind when I try describe the racing action. The top four pro men finished within 45 seconds of each other...sickness at a new level.


Care to get your eye gauged out by a toe nail in the swin start?

Thursday, August 14, 2008

SQUIRT IS OFF TO SNOW BASIN THIS WEEKEND


FOR THE XTERRA MOUNTAIN CHAMPIONSHIP OUTSIDE OF OGDEN, MORE TO COME.

THIS JUST IN FROM ROVING REPORTER JAH-NO-BRAH


I found the original 69 er concept bike cruising around Edwards this afternoon. Rumor has it that Travis Brown was here for the World Championships In 2001 and was testing this concept Bike equiped with bull horns and a Scott paint job to hide the Trek trademark.
Rumor has it he could'nt pay his Tab at Fiesta's and sold the Bike for $50 to Hector and the John Tomac signature bull horns to Bagger for another $10. Hector is now ready to sell this bike to
the Mtn Bike hall of fame for his money back but can't strike a deal because they want $15 for him to
become a member first.

Roving reporter
Jah-no-bra

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

ARMSTRONG, ARMSTRONG, ARMSTRONG!

GRAHAM WATSON PIC
ONE ARMSTRONG WAS VICTORIOUS THIS WEEK AND IT AINT LANCE. I SAY GIVE IT UP FOR KRISTIN ARMSTRONG, WHO WENT OFF AT THE OLYMPICS TODAY AND WON GOLD FOR THE USA. WATCHING THE KIND OF LAME TV COVERAGE OF THE RACE (AT LEAST THEY HAD SOME COVERAGE) I COULD NOT HELP BUT WONDER HOW SWEET IT WOULD BE TO STAND ON THE PODGE AS AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST AND TO HAVE WON THE RACE OF TRUTH AGAINST THE CLOCK AND ALL THE OTHER BEST WOMEN RIDERS IN THE WORLD, AND TO BE ABLE TO LIVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH THE SATISFACTION OF KNOWING YOU WERE THE FASTEST IN THE WORLD ON THE DAY IT MATTERED MOST. I GUESS IT WOULD BE ALOT LIKE FINISHING 8TH IN A TOWN SERIES RACE AND THEN CLUTCHING A BAG OF COFFEE OUT OF MID AIR THAT WAS TOSSED AS A RANDOM PRIZE AT THE END OF THE AWARDS CEREMONY...YEAH, IT'S GOT TO BE JUST LIKE THAT, I AM A CHAMPION, WITH NO GOLD, JUST A BAG OF COFFEE.
ON A SIDE NOTE, SOME GUY NAMED CANCELLERA WON THE MEN'S GOLD.

UH, LAST NIGHT WAS AMY HERMES BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION...

IT'S GONNA TAKE A MORNING OR TWO TO RECOVER, IN THE MEANTIME, SOME GOPRO HELMET FOOTAGE OF THE FIRST CX TRAINING RIDE OF THE SEASON....HARMLESS ENTERTAINMENT


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

TWO AWESOME LINKS FROM THE WEEKEND.

Fralick hooked me up on this link to the Leadville 100 battle, it's a fantastic recap of the race with photos and vijeo...check it out for sure.
And this is the link to the Xterra Results from the Beav this weekend from Jon-O-Brah.

Monday, August 11, 2008

PAT BENATAR HITS US WITH HER BEST SHOT. WAAAAAY ROX OUT THE VILAR CENTER

I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO POACH A PIC WIT MY CELL PHONE (ANOTHER STORY) AT THE PAT BENATAR CONCERT LAST NIGHT AT THE VILAR CENTER, FIGURED WHAT THE HELL, I'LL BLOG THE SHIT OUT OF PAT BENATAR.
SHE ROCKED THE FREAKIN HOUSE OUT!