"According to court records, Erzinger didn't call the police. When they tracked him down, he was placing his rearview mirror and a piece of the bumper in his trunk."
I highly encourage all cyclists to get a paperbag full of dog shit, light it on fire at this guys front step, ring the door bell and run away, please.
Now, let's get back to the nuts and bolts of DA Mark Hurlbert's previous record with cyclists and felonies. We will get back to Martin Joel Erzinger later, he has already locked up the title of 2010 A2B Douche Bag of the Year.
Several months ago, DA Mark Hurlbert decided to press FELONY charges against two recreational mountain biking women when one of them had bilateral hip surgery and could not compete in the Leadville 100 mountain bike race. The "injured" rider could not compete in the race due to her surgeries. She decided to give her costly entry fee (which was non refundable under any circumstances from the race promoter) to a friend to ride in this race so the entry fee was not wasted. This occurs dozens if not hundreds of times EVERY YEAR in this race. I know MANY riders personally who have done this. It's no big deal, it's an amateur race for anyone who wants to do it and is able get in through a lottery form of entry. The race promoter keeps the non-refundable "lottery service fee" from every entry application whether or not you get in the race or not, all racers understand this and the race is difficult to get in to. This is a very large sum of money collected by the promoter. Mark Hurlbert thought it was a good idea to press FELONY charges against these two women which not only caused one of them a stellar teaching career when she lost her job, but drug both of these women's names through the mud for months on end for a relatively innocent attempt to not waste a very expensive entry fee into the Leadville 100. The woman who raced finished on the podium and wrongly accepted a cheap belt buckle as her award and was never officially recognized during any podium presentation which created a firestorm of criticism which had some validity, but not much. I know both of these women well, and if you think there is more to the story than what you have just read, you are dead wrong.
So several months pass, and just down the road from where I live a doctor from New York is in the Vail Valley on his road bike riding innocently when he is struck from behind by a Mercedes SUV driven by Martin Joel Erzinger, a douche bag who works for Smith Barney as an investment manager of over a billion dollars of douche money down in Denver, he also owns a BIG FUCKING house right here in the Vail Valley in a development called Arrowhead, which is part of Beaver Creek and just to the west. This is where it gets really good. This fuck stick millionaire (allegedly, you know what, fuck you allegedly you guilty piece of crap) decides it's a wise idea to leave the cyclist for dead on the side of the road, drives off, and pulls over just down the road to the east in Avon where he is approached by law enforcement while he is in the process of removing his side view mirror and bumper to get rid of the evidence. He had also called his Mercedes Auto Assistance program to come and tow his vehicle, all while saying he did not know he had hit a cyclist just minutes prior. YOU KNOW WHAT, you lying bastard, I hope you rot in hell along with that other asshole in California who currently sits in prison for slamming on his brakes in front of cyclists, sending one of them through his back window. That douche is now Bubba's wife and wakes up with a sore ass everyday hopefully, and Martin Joel Erzinger deserves the SAME FATE.
However, DA Mark Hurlbert thinks differently, he belives that this mother F'N douche bag should be charged with a misdemeanor instead of felony charges. THIS IS A GOD DAMN HIT AND RUN INCIDENT YOU BITCH. If this were myself or any other slug who does not have a pot to piss in, we'd be so screwed no one would ever know we ended up in prison taking one for the team on a daily basis. How's about this scenario? Let's say it was Erzinger's daughter, son or wife who got hit by me, do you think I'd stand a chance in hell of having my charges dropped to a misdemeanor? Especailly after Hurlbert got his hands on this post where I posted his phone number so you could call him to voice your opionion (970-393-2600, cell #, he WILL answer). Fuck no.
Hurlbert says that if he pressed Felony charges, douche bag might lose his job. NO SHIT FUCK STICK, THIS IS WHY WE HAVE LAWS REGARDING THESE TYPES OF CASES, TO PUT THE GUILTY IN PRISON WHERE THEY BELONG. Douche bag of the year has plenty of assets to sell so he can pay restitution, then he can go get a JOB like the rest of us, when he gets done serving time of course. Martin Joel Erzinger has run over and seriously injured a cyclist, and fled the scene, what if this was Hurlberts kid? hmmmm.
Read the sane and true journalistic view of this story here
Now, let's get back to the nuts and bolts of DA Mark Hurlbert's previous record with cyclists and felonies. We will get back to Martin Joel Erzinger later, he has already locked up the title of 2010 A2B Douche Bag of the Year.
Several months ago, DA Mark Hurlbert decided to press FELONY charges against two recreational mountain biking women when one of them had bilateral hip surgery and could not compete in the Leadville 100 mountain bike race. The "injured" rider could not compete in the race due to her surgeries. She decided to give her costly entry fee (which was non refundable under any circumstances from the race promoter) to a friend to ride in this race so the entry fee was not wasted. This occurs dozens if not hundreds of times EVERY YEAR in this race. I know MANY riders personally who have done this. It's no big deal, it's an amateur race for anyone who wants to do it and is able get in through a lottery form of entry. The race promoter keeps the non-refundable "lottery service fee" from every entry application whether or not you get in the race or not, all racers understand this and the race is difficult to get in to. This is a very large sum of money collected by the promoter. Mark Hurlbert thought it was a good idea to press FELONY charges against these two women which not only caused one of them a stellar teaching career when she lost her job, but drug both of these women's names through the mud for months on end for a relatively innocent attempt to not waste a very expensive entry fee into the Leadville 100. The woman who raced finished on the podium and wrongly accepted a cheap belt buckle as her award and was never officially recognized during any podium presentation which created a firestorm of criticism which had some validity, but not much. I know both of these women well, and if you think there is more to the story than what you have just read, you are dead wrong.
So several months pass, and just down the road from where I live a doctor from New York is in the Vail Valley on his road bike riding innocently when he is struck from behind by a Mercedes SUV driven by Martin Joel Erzinger, a douche bag who works for Smith Barney as an investment manager of over a billion dollars of douche money down in Denver, he also owns a BIG FUCKING house right here in the Vail Valley in a development called Arrowhead, which is part of Beaver Creek and just to the west. This is where it gets really good. This fuck stick millionaire (allegedly, you know what, fuck you allegedly you guilty piece of crap) decides it's a wise idea to leave the cyclist for dead on the side of the road, drives off, and pulls over just down the road to the east in Avon where he is approached by law enforcement while he is in the process of removing his side view mirror and bumper to get rid of the evidence. He had also called his Mercedes Auto Assistance program to come and tow his vehicle, all while saying he did not know he had hit a cyclist just minutes prior. YOU KNOW WHAT, you lying bastard, I hope you rot in hell along with that other asshole in California who currently sits in prison for slamming on his brakes in front of cyclists, sending one of them through his back window. That douche is now Bubba's wife and wakes up with a sore ass everyday hopefully, and Martin Joel Erzinger deserves the SAME FATE.
However, DA Mark Hurlbert thinks differently, he belives that this mother F'N douche bag should be charged with a misdemeanor instead of felony charges. THIS IS A GOD DAMN HIT AND RUN INCIDENT YOU BITCH. If this were myself or any other slug who does not have a pot to piss in, we'd be so screwed no one would ever know we ended up in prison taking one for the team on a daily basis. How's about this scenario? Let's say it was Erzinger's daughter, son or wife who got hit by me, do you think I'd stand a chance in hell of having my charges dropped to a misdemeanor? Especailly after Hurlbert got his hands on this post where I posted his phone number so you could call him to voice your opionion (970-393-2600, cell #, he WILL answer). Fuck no.
Hurlbert says that if he pressed Felony charges, douche bag might lose his job. NO SHIT FUCK STICK, THIS IS WHY WE HAVE LAWS REGARDING THESE TYPES OF CASES, TO PUT THE GUILTY IN PRISON WHERE THEY BELONG. Douche bag of the year has plenty of assets to sell so he can pay restitution, then he can go get a JOB like the rest of us, when he gets done serving time of course. Martin Joel Erzinger has run over and seriously injured a cyclist, and fled the scene, what if this was Hurlberts kid? hmmmm.
Hurlbert does not want to press felony charges because this might have an adverse effect on Erzinger's ability to pay restitution if he loses his job, this is American Blind Justice at it's finest folks, and if you are going to charge two women who swapped RACE NUMBERS in an amateur event to save a couple of bucks with a felony, you damn well better charge this asshole who has NO REGARD for human life and hit and run an innocent cyclist, a doctor no less, with felony charges as well, and stick him where he belongs, in the slammer for a while to think about what the hell he thinks he got away with. This just blows.
Personally, I'd like to see this douche bag tied to the ground in a Speedo out in the field of the start of the 24 Hours of Moab where every rider heading out on lap number one would be required to bunny hop him on the way out on course, hell, he's got a Mercedes SUV, he'd be able to drive out to the venue no problem for his special guest appearance. Bastard.
