Eagle County Law Enforcement agents escort OJ Simpson to the Mountain Pedaler in Eagle for the Wednesday night shop ride this week. Upon entering the shop OJ pulled out a gun and demanded we take him to the newly discovered but unridden "Cutoff" trail which Larry G stumbled upon on Tuesday. Once on the trail, OJ proceeded to slash all of our tires and then our throats. After Dr. Dent stitched us all back up on the trail with Bryan Bill's chest hairs we were able to head back to the shop finding OJ's gloves strewn along the trail. The pizza and beer back at the shop were great, and the last we heard OJ was headed towards Interbike in Vegas on Interstate 15, driving very slowly in a white Ford Expedition. Reports said OJ was heard saying "F" that Grossman guy and the Tour Doo France, he's a freekin sandbagger."
If you happen to see OJ, tell him I"ve got his gloves.
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