THE MOST BIZARRE YOUTUBE MUSIC VIDEO EVER?

WTF

BACK TO THE FUTURE...

The eve before yesterday and yesterday were pretty fun, for a while. This weekend was another Rocky Mountain Endurance race. It took place on Keystone Mountain and resort. This is the place where I first came to settle in Colorado 30 years ago after moving from the east. I could write a fairly interesting book about those 30 years. Some of the great stories come from the now empty structure on highway 9 that was once the Old Dillon Inn. Many great bands at one time played there when a friend, Bernie Murphy, who now owns Murphy's in Silverthorne (formerly the Fun Hog Ranch) managed the ODI with the infamous flashing BA sign. Bernie had put together a weekend of music at Murphy's this weekend which included bringing back the bands Tumbleweed and the Tennessee Hat Band. I swung by for a pulled pork sandwich and fixins for dinner and listened to some great music for an hour or so from both bands. There were many old friends there, some who have aged well and some who have not, and had a nice time. Closed out the evening with a drive up to Montezuma in the darkness for old times then went to bed early for a day of announcing at Keystone the next morning.....

 I announced the RME race at Keystone on Saturday, it was a good ol time catching up with many old friends as well as meeting their now grown kids, many of whom were racing. My music mix when I announce has about 300 songs in it, all of it carefully screened for fun and no foul language. The song "I Like Big Butts" (Baby Got Back) came on the mix and the few people there watching were bouncing along to the music when I was approached by a young women who did not introduce herself to me but instead frantically asked me if the version of the song I was playing was censored. I looked at her in disbelief. She was freaking out and indicated I could not play that kind of music. I laughed with a "really?" look and forwarded the my mix onto the next song. When heads turned I told the crowd I could not play that particular song because it had the word "butt" in it. She returned with another woman who wanted to know who I was, to which I gladly obliged, and she told me I could not play music for the family crowd that had the words, "butt", "horny", or "ass" in it. Boy, I'll bet she would be fun on a date....needless to say, I'm pretty sure that my announcing career at Keystone is over, and if it's not, let's make it official and say I won't go back there again to call the action. I Like Big Butts...

And just so you know what we are talking about here...I took this photo of the crowd just a few minutes after being berated....not a lot to offend there folks. Chill Keystone.

SONIC BOOMS IN LARAMIE....

James Peterman and Julie Emmerman won the respective pro categories at the Dead Dog Classic this past weekend. For Peterman, it was his second win in three years. If you think you are a tough guy on the road and have not raced the Dead Dog road race...check it out, it's a grueling test for the pro fields...the wind blew up every field this year and turned it into a 86 mile TT for the elite men. Good stuff. Peterman rides for Sonic Boom/Lucky Pie, they had a good weekend all the way around...

READY OR NOT, HERE I COME....

This is a picture of a fishing mad man, below is another fishing mad man. I used to be a fishing mad man along side both of these fishing mad men and then I just got tired of fishing a little bit and needed to pursue other things in life. 

Steve Herter and Roger Trout were both part of perhaps my life's greatest adventure abroad. I will spare you the details. They now chase Rooster Fish up and down the beach on ATVs all day and drink beer at sunset just outside of Cabo. Steve lives the the majority of the year. We are all getting older and I was invited years ago to come down and enjoy the chase of this amazing fish. I am going next month. Stay tuned.

TAKE A CHILL PILL.....

 I'm chillin today. It was a pretty arduous road trip for me to 24 Hour Mountain Bike Nats in Gallup, New Mexico. The drive down was going to include riding and or fishing but the wind was outrageously annoying on the way down. Gallup is a strange place. I found myself extremely anxious there. The "atmosphere" is not very relaxed in these parts. I observed many dead dogs on the side of the roads, many live dogs on the side of the roads, and way too many Native Americans hitch hiking everywhere. I do not get it....at all. I'm not going to try and get it either. The landscapes are breathtaking and heartbreaking at the same time in this part of the world. It's an odd mix.

With that part said, the mountain biking is fun, and fast. The 24 Hours in the Enchanted Forest is a pretty nice event that will grow, and it was big this year. The 20 mile loop is FAST. It is very user friendly. The venue is a keeper. Zia rides does a great job of organizing a fun filled and wonderful event. From a professional announcers stand point, the wrench in the cogs was the timing crew. This weekends race was a big challenge for me. Really big. With virtually no usable information coming from the timing crew, it was an ad lib job at best. I had nothing tangible to work with. This is not the promoters fault, Lindsay had her hands full with 100 other issues to deal with.  Rain, lightening and cold in the middle of the night put the race on hold and the "Laird" rule was put into effect. This means that the race was stopped at roughly 10:30, and all laps that were completed after that time did not count. The course was being destroyed by mud and rain and racers and had to be stopped. The race began again at 7am and was basically run as a two stage race with the two stage times being combined, which is fair. When the race was called off, there were a lot of racers on course, a 20 mile loop, who did not know the race had been stopped, they continued on to finish laps even though they would not count. They were upset, and they wore out the promoter and the USAC officials with their bitching and complaining. It wore me out just listening to it, it was disappointing. The crew out there was under enough stress as it was trying to keep things rolling reasonably and then the racers starting going off on them. I wish everyone who races could work the other side of one of these events just once, so they had a better understanding of the amount of time and effort that goes into putting together and running a race like this, then they would chill a bit. But for some it always about them, and they can be real assholes. It was stressful out there. I feel like I did a pretty piss poor job of painting the story of the race and calling the action. The drive home could not end fast enough. I just need to chill for a few days and regroup. It's mountain bike racing, that's it folks, your status in life is not going to change because you lost a lap at a bike race due to a safety call regarding weather. At least you got to ride the lap, in the fun and mud at night, and that is what the sport is supposed to be all about, fun and crazy memories. Nobody got screwed over, you just got caught in a rain storm at a bad time for a race. Get over it, go ride your bike and have fun. Fuck.

Oh, and congrats to Tinker Juarez and Nina Baum on there outstanding wins.

WHAT A LONG STRANGE TRIP

I drove a long way today. I drove from Eagle, Colorado to Gallup, New Mexico and was reminded all day of the tragedy taking place in Colorado's fires for the second year in a row by the fucking wind that blew the entire way for 8 hours. It blew like a bitch. It actually made the driving frightening most of the day. I was going to stop in Cortez and ride Phil's World, but it was too fucking windy. then I was going to drive to Farmington and fish the San Juan but it was still too fucking windy. So I droveall the way to Gallup so I could get up early tomorrow and go ride the course for a lap or two, which should be fun. This is the lap that 24 Hour Mountain Bike Nationals will take place on at the Enchanted Forest course.  Driving to gallup is a bit of a task and you are going to have to really want to race for stars and stripes to make that drive. It's a pretty depressing track dropping in from the north in Colorado. Makes you realize how hosed the Navajo Nation got screwed, the land is useless down there and there is absolutely no way to make money. The landscapes are nice and the wind blows like fucking crazy. I literally drove through a sideways sand/dust storm all day. It was brutal. But now I'm here and it's time for you all to get it on....for 24 hours. Best of luck to you all...

The irony of today's trip as I saw it, is that I drove right by this turn on my long journey today. None of you could probably name this turn without a proper description, and if you could then you know.There was a time and a day when this right hand turn represented the most excited a mountain biker could be if they were going to race for 24 hours. Now it's just another turn of a road that is being paved south of Moab. It will rarely see at vehicle turn right onto it again with a mountain bike on a roof rack. This is the right hand turn that goes to "Behind The Rocks Road". This was the site of what was once the 24 Hour race that no one could miss, and now it's gone and dead, and it's a shame. There are a lot of riders who have a lot of memories from this right hand turn, the bumpy ride in and out was special, and the venue was a city of life in the middle of the dessert for two days, and then just disappeared, just like the race has...I'll miss that shit.

BOULDER VOTED AGAINST MAKING A CITY IN PALESTINE IT'S "BROTHER" CITY TODAY......AFTER WATCHING THIS VIDEO

WELCOME TO JELLYSTONE....MOUNTAIN BIKER EATIN BY BEAR

Well, not really, but Jeff Kerkove and Karen Jarchow had a pretty close encounter. If you live and ride in Eagle, you are going to see bears every summer riding, they travel on the trails we use. What bothers me is this fucker is already conditioned to now know that mountain bikers are carrying food, and it's easy pickings. Fuck that. Run for your life and leave behind those Honey Stinger waffles folks.

GO PRO GO PRO GO PRO........

So it's been done. Teva is gone and now it's GoPro's baby. The Mountain Games in Vail had a new title sponsor this year and it was the perfect match, and the crowds were ridiculously large, and the events were super fun, and this event continues to be a celebration of the mountain lifestyle of living, and there is nothing else like it in the world, and never will be. It's a crazy weekend, especially if you are working it. The Vail Valley Foundation does an amazing job of rolling through this weekend logistically, it's a daunting undertaking. And it's more about the crazy events and athletes, it's more about being able to participate for anyone who would like to. Some great surprises this weekend in the cycling venues. Erin Huck was stellar as she "upset" the defending champion, our National champ and Bronze Medalist Georgia Gould in the XC MTB race, then finished second in the TT hill climb. Howard Grotts killed it on the men's side for Specialized. Riders from Utah showed and throwed as well. But most importantly, it was a hell of a good time under amazing blue skies in Vail. Can't wait for 2014. Really. So good to see so many good friends...

All images are from the GoPro photo album on Facebook from this past weekend.

ROLLIN GLENWOOD CANYON BEFORE AN INSANE WEEKEND

It was a perf day in Eagle and I've neglected Glenwood Canyon this season. So good bro Nate Picklo and his new LOV bike hopped on board for a stellar ride down river into the canyon. The river is ripping right now and pretty entertaining if you are looking for something cool and different to do. Nate let me jump on his ride and I stuck him on the IF. We quickly learned that all though we are the same height, Nate is all legs and I'm all torso...the bike rides really well from the upper deck however.

SHIT I BRING, YOU MAY WANT BRING TO SOME TOO.......

 

What can you do to help keep things rolling? Here is what I carry when I'm out on a biggie with the intent to clean things up along the way. A Gregory pack, 80-100 oz. water reservoir, cell phone powered off unless I need it, work gloves, tube, patch kit, hand pump, multi tool (chain tool a must), FOOD, shock pump, extra chain link, 10 inch folding saw, meds (albuterol and epi pen), mini flash light, windproof lighter, TOILET PAPER. lube, survey tape and throw a Sharpie in there for jollies so you can write on survey tape if you ever have a mega emergency and have to walk in....this way you can write info as you go and leave it behind on tree and bush limbs. That's it. If you are worried about weight and the added difficulty climbing, you probably should not be in this group, just sayin. Have fun out there folks, ride safe and smart.

This has been a public service announcement from the HSC survival and fun council.
And look, before you go getting your jorts all in a ball up your ass because the Hardscrabble Singletrack Coalition is all rogue and everything. Take a deep breath and remember who started this entire thing, that's right, it was HSC. HSC actually had a FUNDRAISER which included showing the movie Klunkerz at the local coffee shop to raise funds for sign making equipment. Over thirty sweet signs were made with YOUR money and placed strategically around the Eagle singletrack system. Ironically enough, YOU tore down these signs after spending money to have them made. And nobody gave a shit. Unsanctioned, unincorporated, and doing plenty of good for your singletrack world. You become a member by doing ONE THING positive for the singletrack in and around Eagle. Whenever or where ever and you don't have to say a word about it. JUST DO THE SHIT. Thanks.

GO PRO MOUNTAIN GAMES IN VAIL.....START TODAY. YOU IN?

FUCK YOU DOROTHY RABINOWITZ...

I watched this link posted by JHK on Facebook University and actually thought it was a Saturday Night Live skit....really. Fucking loon.

TORNADO CHASING...MY OPINION, NOT YOURS, BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOURS.

This is a picture of the car that three tornado chasing idiots died in. Television is covered with this crap from Oklahoma every fucking day now. I'm over it. There are two things that are going to happen if you chase tornadoes trying to promote yourself with close up videos of other people's lives being destroyed by nature and getting killed by these violent storms. One, you are going to live and show someone dying and their home being blown away. Two, you are going to die because you are a dumb ass. I'm over the "they are saving lives and doing society a service bullshit". I feel terrible for the people who are helpless victims of these storms. If you choose to drive into or near one for your own self promotion, you lose. WTF are you people thinking. 99% have zero scientific background chasing this shit around in your Chevy Vegas. Let it rest, our more of you will rest yourselves....shmucks.

IN THE WORDS OF MICHAEL ROBSON.....

"My job sucks, I never have any fun" 

Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. Friday night I had the opportunity to once again be the host/mc of Cyclefest 2013 for the third straight year. Cyclefest is a fun night of fundraising which is organized by Kate Rau, the Colorado High School Cycling League director. The amount of silent auction, raffle and live auction items at this event is daunting and the evening moves fast. Coaches and athletes from the progarm speak and it's always a great evening. India Waller, who I mistakenly introduced as India "Speaks" off of my directive, was one of two great speakers from the athlete side, she then went on to win her division at the Beti Bike Bash on Sunday. Griff Wendlend spoke as well and really got the point across to the crowd with regards to what the high school mtb races have brought to his life and lessons learned.

The eve wrapped up with questions ans answers with JHK and Heather Irmiger, to National Champion athletes with huge resumes having both raced world Cup for the Trek/Subaru professional mountain bike team. I'm not sure about anyone else, but I had one hell of a time. I mean come on, sitting next to JHK and Heather Irmiger in a black cocktail dress, asking anything you want....really? Pinch me. 

BETI BIKE BASH IS THE BEST.....

 The Beti Bike Bash. Bam, that's it. 

It is plain and simply the coolest, most fun, most inspiring, full day of riding and racing for women out there. Yesterday was big fun. My hat is off to the women of the pro field who not only put on an amazing race, with Georgia Gould, 2012 Olympic bronze medalist and USA National Champion winning, but also an incredible effort from Tokyo Joe's Erin Huck who battled through the Luna Pro Team to fini9sh second, with Teal Stetson Lee finishing third. Huck got caught up in the "Luna Sandwhich" for two laps before as Teal said during her interview, the Sandwhich became "open face" at the start of lap three when Georgia put in an effort and only Huck to stay close. It was stellar racing.

Top it all off with the women's pro field hanging out with the kids the rest of the day signing autographs and taking pictures, and it's as good as it gets for everyone involved. Yeti Beti has got one heck of an event going and it is inspiring. There were over 40 "never ever" racers yesterday, and I challenge them all to bring three friends next year to do the same. I'll be there.

 Georgia Gould, Erin Huck, Teal Stetson Lee, Judy Freeman, Heather Irmiger, Amy Beisel, Karen Jarchow at the podium.