Wednesday, May 23, 2012
HOW RIDING WITH LANCE ARMSTRONG SAVED MY ASS...
It's pretty damn good to be back in Eagle, Colorado as you might guess, even with the Eagle River Mall of Douches approved, which I'm assuming will be built if ever, when all the people who voted for it are dead. Apparently Eagle was going to be written a check for $1-2 Million immediately upon approval, I have not seen that check just yet but I'm sure it is floating around town. And I am looking forward to the half off of everything at The Nearly Everything Store in the near future. I'm gonna go get that hummingbird feeder I've been eye balling for the past eight years...at half off!
Whoa, back on track here. I rode with Lance Armstrong last night in Eagle, figuratively speaking, and was damn glad to have him along on the ride up to Mike's night out. I usually throw caution to the wind on these long solo rides and bring nothing, but yesterday I was actually PREPARED for disaster had it happened because I had Lance Armstrong with me. Somewhere near the far end of Catwalk, that nasty sound of a rubber nobbie ripping off my tubeless tire occurred as all my Stans squirted out of my front tire and left it's mark on the trail like the skid mark in Red Developments underwear when they fail to deliver to Eagle any promises. So I walked out to the clear spot at the end of the trail and contemplated. I had a tube, but it was a 26 incher and I've got 29 inch rims, oops. Ah! I had a bottle of Caffelatex Espresso in my pack! Bam! I dumped the entire bottle into the tire to try and seal the LARGE hole and watched most of the Espresso squirt out of the tire like Barbasol shaving cream. Fuck. And then, when the pressure in the tire got lower, the shit actually sealed! I topped off the tire and continued my journey which was heading to Mike's Night Out to do some trail work with the HTC, which is different than the HSC, but I have tools. So WTF. :-)
The tire held until halfway up the hike a bike and then let go again, now it's turning into the fucking SS Minnow journey, a three hour tour, not.
This is when I realized Lance Armstrong was with me and that he could save my ass. So I ate his endorsed Honey Stinger Waffle and now had the perfect patch for my ails. With the 26 inch tube and Lance Armstrong actually getting in my rim and in between the tube and the tire, I was all set, and all was right with the world in Eagle, and there were lots of Grouse tracks which make me smile, and I got some trail work done, and Lance Armstrong slept in my tire last night and is still there. Thanks Lance, I owe you one.
Another Great Adventure in Eagle, pre mall days.