HUH? ISNT IT STILL 2009? SPECIALIZED 2010 EPIC 9ER FULL SQUISH

Jacked up body and all I talked the Specialized folks into letting me take the 2010 Specialized Epic Marathon 29er out for a spin around part of tomorrow's cross country race single track, with no helmet and flat pedals of course as I brought no gear with me this weekend, (don't tell my mother). The bike was a hair small for me, but my gawd, someone find me a bag of money so I can get one of these next year. The bike has to weigh in at under 22 lbs. and rides like a smokin dream. It's just not fair. anyone want to trade a Felt Limited Nine?

DAY TWO CRANKWORX....

Furk it rained hard, and I could see my breathe all day. Winter is coming soon. Can you say RedBull and Vodka?

CHEATER, CHEATER, DOUCHE BAG PUMPKIN EATER...

Well, there you have it, nothing about the Red Sox winning anything is legit as they were apparently led by two steroid munching, douche bag cheating, losers. I don't give a rats ass how you try and legitmize it, Big Floppy is a cheat, he's a loser. Another moron exposed. So basically my theory holds true, that the Red Sox=Yankees with a "B" on their hat. Same shit, different day. All cheats, all losers.

Now, lets go have a party at Crankworx day two. By the way folks, support Kona Bikes, they support the heck out of Squirt! The entire rental fleet in Winter Park (130 bikes) is Kona and Squirted up! I say we throw Big Sloppy on this and push him down the Slopestyle course here at Winter Park for his cheating penalty. I'll take the vij.

CRANKWORX, COLORADO....DUDE.

The best in the world are here, get your ass here if you have never seen this sickness...

COLORADO'S LARGEST GRAVITY EVENT STARTS TOMORROW, CHECK OUT CRANKWORX COLORADO, I'M GONNA

Rad, killer, bitchin, sick, sicker, sickest, dope, word, rediculous. It's all in Winter Park this weekend as Crankworx comes to town for the weekend. If you think watching mountain biking is boring in general, this is the event to check out to change that train of thought as the best gravity riders come to Winter Park to throw down their shit. You WILL NOT be dissappointed at this expo as riders huck their bodies and bikes for the huge crowds that show for Corankworx Colorado. There is something for everyone this weekend as Saturday host XC racing as well. Crankworx is Sponsored by KONA BIKES where Squirt Lube will be hanging out on Thursday and Friday, stop by and say hey.

This event gets the A2B thumbs up from Elgee

MIKE KLOSER IS HURTIN....

Mountain Bike Hall of Famer, Mike Kloser

Most of you know by now about Mike's freak crash last week as he returned back down from another great race effort at the Davos Dash in Vail. As usual, Mike was in the mix with the top names in the valley and absolutely still crushes it. Now I'm not about to jump on the "Mike's one of my best buddies" wagon, but I do consider him a good friend, and the guy is just always one of the people we all dig seeing at events and races as he ALWAYS goes out of his way to chat for a second or two and say hey. I can't think of anyone who has done more for Mountain Biking in our world than Mike, he's just one of those "ambassador" type guys who knows how to get things done and does it, not to mention being the greatest adventure racer of all time, period. I've heard from a couple of people how his struggle is coming along, five broken ribs, a collapsed lung, shattered clavicle have him pretty beat down. Do yourself a favor in the coming days, if you know Mike and his family from when or where ever, give him a call and wish him a quick recovery. We spoke briefly today and it's gonna be a few weeks of serious recovery time, but Mike is truly greatful for the support from his sphere and that shit helps, and it helps alot, so do it. He's a hell of a bloke. Let him know.

THIS NUT IS GONNA FUCK SOMEBODY UP..

The Eggbeater, a classic

I've had these Eggbeaters for a long time, probably five seasons worth on these babies. I service them myself as they are pretty easy to work on, however, on occasion, the bearings can disintegrate and the "little "locknut" which holds the pedal on the spindle can work itself off which then allows the "cage" to slide off the end of the pedal and remain lodged on your shoe cleat. It's happened to me before a couple of times, it happened last night at a very inopportune time while descending. The resulting crash sent me to the ER room for X-rays on what turned out to be typical mtb rash all over, bruised ribs, lower back and hip bruises. I'm thankful that it was not worse, no broken bones. I'm not going to run to Frank Azar the Strongarm on this one, but you should all be aware of this potential problem and have your Eggbeaters serviced at least once a season. The rebuild kits are inexpensive, around 20 bucks, and easy to replace. I'd hate for any of you to have as much pain as I'm experiencing while laughing, farting and wiping your ass. I'll be good as new soon with any luck.

THIS IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND AND WINNER OF THE MOVIE DATE

I love you bag of ice....

And how is this for support at the Breck Epic? Shannon Boffeli from MTBRACENEWS.com sent me this pic of the Modelo handup at the summit of Dewet's last climb at the now infamous stage race. You may ask yourself, what the hell is Elgee doing up this late blogging? Well, I'm watching movies with my new date of course. As most of you know, it's incredibly uncomfortable to sleep the first night after a big digger.

Notice the perfect technique of running with the racer while both sets of eyes focus on the Modelo to be sure none gets spilled....this is textbook support only the Squirt Lube team can provide.

LET'S PLAY THE BACHELOR A2B STYLE...

Available....

Today, while getting ready to go ride and then getting chased off the bike by a raging lightning storm, I realized that it was actually a better movie day than a ride day, just one problem, in the town where I live, there are ZERO single women available for such a monumental endeavor. There are plenty of women, most married miserably, but none "available". Now I've used this blog for many reasons, including some that have potential to ruin my life someday, but here is a new one. Let's play The Bachelor Blogging Style...all you hot single and AVAILABLE women out there, well, here is my biography, on the pages of A2B. If this pile of rambling shit does not scare you away, well, you may win a movie date to a movie of my choice right here in Eagle, Colorado, then we'll see how it goes from there. E-mail me with your bank account statements as well as a partially clothed picture or two of yourself to green_head7@yahoo.com (underscore between the "n" and the "h"), enter in the "subject" of the e-mail "A2B Bachelor" and I'll post my favorite pics and bios on A2B where you can vote for my first wife. Please do not enter this contest if you are not female or are a Brazilian transvestite. North Koreans are not eligible. well wait a second, yes you are. Easy as that.

you could win a date with this guy....

Some of my personal life highlights include but not limited too...

It took me five and a half years to graduate from a four year college program, I've gotten a ticket for "urinating in public". When I was 9 years old my best friends threw my sleeping bag into the lake at summer camp, which may actually explain alot of things. That's it in a nutshell.

IT'S ALL ALBERTO CONTADOR IN 2009...

Well, the formalities were taken care of today as Alberto sipped champagne and rode around in a bunch of circles on the Champs-Elysees while a pretty damn good battle went on at the front before Team High Road was motor paced back up to the lead group and Cavendish once again rode away from the field for the win...That's four grand tours in a row for Contador, who's gonna step up and beat this guy? Look for Radio Shack to come up with a plan in a year from now...personally, I would like Alberto's hat better if the middle finger were the one pointing the way...watch for the knock offs coming soon.

And is it my imagination or those damn poka dotted dresses that seem to make the podium girls that hand out the best climber award everyday the hottest by far....just wondering if I'm the only one who picked up on that the last 10 years.

JENS VOIGT FANS, A MESSAGE, THIS GUY IS ALL CLASS

EVERYONE IS A JENS VOIGT FAN, CLICK HERE FOR A MESSAGE FROM HIM ON HIS STATUS AFTER THE NASTY CRASH HE HAD A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO.

Jen's front wheel washes out on the paint stripe causing the wreck.

WHAT A SHAM, WHAT A SHAME

This guy, Juan Manual Garate, got totally screwed today while winning the penultimate stage of this year's Snore De France. In my personal opinion, the stage pretty much sucked ass as NOTHING really happened back in the proverbial chase pile as expected, HOWEVER, this guy and Tony Martin were putting on a show at the front of the race while Versus and Phil and Paul Sherwin babbled through the lame chase and sit that went on behind the the true story of the day. The cameras SHOULD have been focused on the true champions of the day as they stayed away in the break ALL THE FUCKING WAY up Mount Ventoux. But instead, we were forced to watch Andy Schleckerman attack while Contabore sucked his wheel, and Frank Shleckerman attack while Lance sucked his wheel. Garate got hosed by the coverage while winning one of the most difficult Snore stages of all time, just a shame, I'm glad this debacle is almost over, at least until the doping charges start flying in in a week or two. Most likely from this Fat Head Greg Lemond.

AND THE WINNER OF THE LANCE ARMSTRONG SPONSORSHIP CONTEST IS...

What? RadioShack? I did not realize that RadioShack ever sold anything. The only times I have ever been in a RadioShack all the plastic bubble wrapped items looked like they had been sitting on the shelf for 20-30 years collecting dust. I thought the only thing they sold were remote control monster trucks and those stupid phone jack converters that are always the wrong one when you get them home, then you have to explain in a foreign language what the deal was when you try and return it to the olive complected man behind the counter, or is that 7-11? Please forgive my ignorance.

JAY HENRY TOPPLES DAVOS RECORD AGAIN, BY TWO SECONDS

What is 3.5 miles long, has 1300 feet of climbing, and will make you want to puke at the top? The Davos Dash Hillclimb, just ask Ciro.

Kristin Anderson/Vail Daily
This is why I choose to spectate and drink beer, why the hell would I pay $35 to do this to myself in 20 plus minutes?

And by the way, Jay Henry smoked the course again with a new record time of 16:45. Little Mikey was in the house along with mom Maribel which made for a special post race affair....

Little Mikey and Jay Henry planning the next training ride.

Kristin Anderson/Vail Daily

JUST WHEN YOU THINK THE TOUR CAN'T GET MORE BORING

They throw an Individual Time Trial at us....snore

I MUST ADMIT.....

I thoroughly enjoyed Thor Hushovd going off the front today and basically telling Mark Cavendish to suck off, without saying a word after Cavendish showed no class with his comments about the Thor's lead in the points race being blemished. Thor crushed it off the front while the whiner was OFF THE BACK today at the Snore. Seems Cav better suck it up and give the God of Thunder some credit as he earned his points today and did not hide in the bunch for 120 miles and then outsprint everyone else in the last 100 meters to gain something. It's clear who deserves Green.

And on the subject of colors, how's about some black and blue blooming from my pile into the tree pad at Nats, she's coming along nicely.

NEW SINGLE TRACK SOOOO CLOSE...

Crazy thunderhead at sunset

When you resign yourself to just not race anymore for whatever reason this season, there are some nights that are just perf to ride. Usually the night before the local race series works out that way as the trails are QUIET with everyone on their pre-race prep. So what better night to go up to the triple top secret singletrack project to get some stuff done...

ANDY SCHLECK SHITS HIMSELF DURING STAGE 16

During a critical moment in today's Snore De France Stage 16, Andy Schleck spent himself trying to attack yellow and had his brother Frank along for the ride to help. When Andy turned to his right to talk to Frank, and suddenly realized he was dropped and replaced by 37 year old Lance Armstrong, he quite literally crapped himself and splattered his white jersey with fecal matter, can you imagine the bacon strip in those white bibs? Bottom line, lights out for Schleck, he aint got it. And A2B believes that if Lance has the opportunity (even though I'm no big Lance fan), he should attack the living crap out of Contador during one of the remaining stages to make this thing interesting.

Bummed about Jens...he deserved better.

SQUIRT LUBE AND IMBA TEAM UP....

In very recent news, Squirt Lube and IMBA have teamed up to help you ride more and improved singletrack in the future. Squirt is now a corporate sponsor of IMBA. So what's the deal? Well, IMBA members will soon be able to purchase Squirt Lube at the IMBA website with a percentage of proceeds going to IMBA. Not only does this produce much needed revenue for IMBA which enables them to make our lives super better as Mountain Bike trail users, but it also insures that you will be able to purchase a biodegradable chain lube that does not harm the environment and works exceptionally well. Both Squirt and IMBA are very excited to work together in the future!

MIKE JANELLE MEMORIAL RACE WEDNESDAY NIGHT/DAVOS DASH...SEE YOU AT DENNY'S

Wednesday night in Vail is the second annual Mike Janelle Memorial bike race, as most of you know this will take place at the Davos Dash Hillclimb, which is basically 25 minutes of crushing yourself for the cause. This of course also means we are getting closer to the Second Annual Mike Janelle Frozen Turkey Pull which will take place again this year on Thanksgiving morning

See you at Denny's in Avon at 2AM.

MEANWHILE, BACK AT NATIONALS.

Irmiger leads out the first climb, which was a crusher.

It was more devestation this weekend from JHK and his wife Heather Irmiger as they both took home National Mountain Biking XC Championships right here in our backyard in Sol Vista Resort in Granby, Colorado. The Pro fields did an "abbreviated" lap several time to make the race more spectator friendly, while the rest of "us" did longer laps which had sections of rocky technical climbing which the pros did not do. I did not think this made much sense but that was the program. JHK battled with Todd Wells just as he did at the Teva Games this year in Vail, but when Wells lost a crank arm late in the race JHK was free and clear for the victory by OVER SIX MINUTES.

The course;

Racers were greeted with a stiff climb right out of the box which immediately put you in the RED bad place, then the race was on. Friday's racers had a nine mile lap which included plenty of techy ascending on rocky, windy singletrack which required plenty of power to navigate. The majority of the descending was super loose, dusty, rutty singletrack which required a HIGH level of concentration while remaining loose and relaxed, it was worthy and super fun as well. "Patriot" was the lower part of the descent and was crazy loose, steep, twisty and had a spectator friendly carnage steep, loose pitch which I personally provided entertainment on when I piled it into the padded tree on riders left, much to the cheers of the crowd, lap two was better, just requiring a quick dab at the bottom to make the hard left hander at the bottom of the pitch. For me personally, this was not "the" race I trained for all season, but I hoped to do well. First lap was great and I finished lap one in a battle for second, lap two the lights went out and four more stronger guys got me placing me 6th at races end. I was happy with that. Robert Stanley had a great race and won our Cat by nearly five minutes, and all though I have beat Robert before, today was his day and his championship...job well done.

VERY PREDICTBLE SNORE DE FRANCE REMAINS, WELL.....VERY PREDICTABLE

Alberto Contador gives the coveted "up your ass with a piece of glass" salute to Andy Schleck after today's dominating win at the Snore. I mean truly, did anyone actually believe this would play out any differently? Now Andy is saying Contador can still be beaten if he bonks again like he did in Paris-Nice, now there is a sportsmanship like comment. How's about saying something like, "that little fucker absolutely kicked my punk ass on the last climb today and there is no way in hell I can catch that little bastard, that is why when he took off it took me about 10 seconds to react even though I've prepared for that moment for 340 days". I mean really Andy, you were left scratching your ball sack when that move came today....and let's not forget that Contador will bury Schleck in the remaining TT.

In other A2B observations at this year's Snore, has Cadel Evans ever had a good day when he needed to at this race? It was also good to see the douche bag motorcycle drivers still driving like MORONS at today's stage despite having killed a spectator when a 60 year old woman was run over and spit out the tail pipe of the two wheeler yesterday...well done.

MTB NATIONALS...BIG

Pros practice on the downhill course. I like to call this "the ignorance of youth". But it sure is cool to watch.

JEN SMITH AND BRANDYN ROARK GRAY....SNRGY MULTISPORT

Xterra athlete Jen Smith

Interested in improving your high altitude swimming, trail running and Mt. Biking? Two of the top Xterra athletes in Colorado's High Country are offering a High Altitude training camp in Crested Butte from August 6th-9th. Jennifer Smith and Brandyn Roark Gray will coach the clinics and this is a sure way to improve your off road triathalon performance while learning from two of the best...

And Brandyn Roark Gray form SNRGY MULTISPORT

LE BORE DE FRANCE....

Can this year's race be any more boring? Gee Wally, there has been a 19 second attack from Conti who caught shit from everyone, and Lance gets off Scott free for leaving his team behind and is "clever", but not an asshole for not pulling the rest of the team up to a break. And then there have been eight of the most snoring stages ever, as usual. Hail the Bore De France!

MOUNTAIN BIKE NATIONALS AND BRECK 100 ALL THIS WEEKEND

Another crazed weekend on tap for the Squirt Lube tent as I'll be at the Mountain Bike Nationals on Friday and then head back to Breckenridge for the Breck 100 on Saturday to sponsor and lube more chains...mountain bike season is rockin it!