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Rudy Project, the exclusive eyewear of A2B

Monday, January 4, 2010

THE MYSTERY OF THE PACKAGE, TERROR HITS EAGLE, COLORADO

When I arrived home this evening after work and then a session at the Vail Nordic Center with Wuwuwuwuzup and Jdubs, which turned into a true nut freezer, I pulled into my parking spot and walked to the front door like any other day. Upon reaching the front door I saw this mysterious box with orange warning labels all over it. I could not see what it was or who it was from. My first thought, Charlie Sheen had read my blog and found out I elected him the A2B 2009 Douche Bag of the Year and had sent a giant letter bomb to my front step. I was certain there was no one out there who likes me enough to send me a Christmas gift this late. And of course with the big vote tomorrow determining the Town of Eagle's future concerning ERS, and as active as I have been to get this piece of crap cookie cutter mall booted out of my hometown, well, you know, the mind can wander. So I called the Blue Healer that belongs to my next door neighbor to come over and sniff the box, this while I scanned the bushes and surrounding area for any signs of a wire. A metal detector found nothing and the mine sweeper produced a clean grid and the return address was not from Yemen or some other country which hates our guts. When the healer lifted his leg and pissed on the box that was the sign that it was an "all clear" and I "went in" to read the tape and label. And then it came to me, once I saw the package tape with the big NR emblem on it. While at Interbike in September, Nite Rider had just a stupid good deal on their not yet released 1200 Lumen LED Lithium Ion headlights, which can be computer programmed, no shit. Of course I ordered one along with all the other idiots who needed a fifth headlight to ride with, and there were alot of us, trust me. I can't tell you what we paid for them, because then you would send a package bomb to my front door for the dog to piss on....cheers.

1 comment:

  1. In the spirit of the holiday I first thought... "Frah-gee-lay, it must be Italian!"

    Then, once you showed the true spectacle of the contents I thought, well, you can turn it on between HWY 6 and I-70 to show people what a Target is going to look like... as 1200 F-ing lumens will probably melt the snow on the Boneyard as you ride!! Have fun with that.

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