DID I HEAR OBAMA CORRECTLY?

Maybe a bailout check for this Schwinn Varsity Time Trial Machine?

Or a PeeWee Crusher
I'm pretty damn sure that during the President's address this evening that I heard him say he was bailing me out. Which to me means that both you and I will have one new bike paid for this year by the Government to help conserve energy and minimize our gas dependency issues. So this bail out plan means that I will be getting a check to pay for the Felt Nine Team I just purchased on a fresh credit card. I'm holding my breath waiting for the check.

Which brings me to another issue. The Eagle Post Office...Why must it be so painful to go to this building everyday. Can the "postal workers" shuffle their feet any slower as they go collect your package for you once they gather your "pink slip"? I think they should be forced to wear a shock collar and every time they ask me if there is anything fragile, liquid, or hazardous in my package I can choose to shock them until they stop asking me.